How many times has a well meaning friend or family member advised you that when something awful happens in your life, a death, a loss of a relationship, illness or disability that the way to get through it is to just stay busy? Okay, that will work for a while, until the next time something happens. Unfortunately losses come to everyone. To bury rather resolve a major loss will leave you more vulnerable and more easily blow off course in the future.  Eventually the chatter of your own mind will feel like too much to bear.


Ignoring the emotional pain that goes with loss and allowing ourselves to become habitually addicted to our busy-ness only serves to keep us in the loop. Bernie Siegel MD talks about how God uses pain in our lives. He calls pain our reset button. I think he’s right. We do not, will not, cannot see the need for change until the pain of the situation is shouting at us.


Everyday we carry around burdens from past hurts, resentment, anger or worry will find us with less and less energy and vitality to deal with our daily lives. Numb to pain many walk around day after day year after year not knowing the cause of all their fatigue or lack of energy. Over time we become accustom to a lack of vitality and begin to think it’s normal. Eventually one will give into depression and illnesses of all kinds including cancer.  


We can blame other people, bosses, wives, husbands, children for the cause of our distress and stress, yet they are not living inside our skin. It is up to us to deal with our losses and the unsettled emotions that go with them.


How does one begin to unravel the deep seeded emotions that are causing so much distress in our lives? The answers are as easy or as complex as you want to make them. Most experts find that before we can begin to be comfortable once again we must find ways to forgive others and ourselves for behavior that may not have been exactly loving. Of course we cannot always directly confront an individual that we need to forgive. In that case, release those feelings by wishing them the best silently and with heart. The message will be received. We also need to forgive ourselves- difficult but necessary.


If you are unsure where to start try a journal. Don’t worry about what you write, just write, but write with feeling. If it’s anger you feel express it. If it’s sadness, depression, rage, jealously, frustration allow it to come to the surface. Once released in a journal these strong emotions will no longer have the same power to drain your body of its life force. Looking back over your journal every month or so you will find that things have improved if only in small increments.


With improvement we find that other measures to control our distress and pain will become easier and we can once again enjoy our lives.  New found emotional health inspires us to eat right, exercise, get enough rest and take better care of our body. Life once again becomes a joy with hope for better times to come. Till next time, Rebecca.