Flubbing for a living

February. Winter’s coming to an end. Winter’s not all that bad. Neither is the flu. You usually survive.

Elections are everywhere. Soon we’ll get our shot at voting here in Illinois. I think I’m going to take a Democratic ballot this time. I like Edwards, although I like Kerry’s wife better than Edward’s. I’m still not completely sure who is going to get my vote. The only thing I’m sure of is it won’t be Bush. I don’t like his wife, she looks mean. For the U.S. House, I’m going with Evans, even though he’s been there beyond my ten year limit. You talk about mean. Zinga lost in her first speech. She won’t do any better than 60—40%. Flubbed, even though she is a whole lot prettier.

Knox County is doing its best to wrestle the monthly Flub away from Bush. You have to admit, it’s hard to find a taxing body that’s late with their bills. That alone deserves a Flub. And the Board and Nursing Home Committee want to open a $5 million dollar Alzheimer’s Unit at a time when the nursing home industry is probably at their darkest hour. What they need to do is keep the building up to code and lower expenses. But that would be sensible. You can figure on them doing something Flubbingly ludicrous.

I love to see the right-wingers getting all worked up about gay marriages. Frankly, I couldn’t be happier for them. Why let heterosexual couples do all the Flubbing?

Valentine’s Day deserves a Flub. What a stupid day. To show your love for someone, you buy them a box of chocolates and a $5 card. Ends up the person you bought the chocolates for probably made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. Isn’t love strange?

I like the people in Galesburg who, on the one hand, condone the tearing down or burning down of all our historic buildings, while on the other hand try their best to make the downtown look old. These are the same people who worry about alcohol being out at the golf course, when in fact you can’t go two blocks in Galesburg without being able to buy alcohol. There’s got to be a Flub there somewhere?

February’s Flub has to go to Ralph Nader, a good guy with an apparent big ego. After four years of Bush, no one’s going to forgive this guy for taking valuable votes away from Gore in Florida. Running as an independent, he won’t get 1% of the vote. In fact, he won’t get on but 7 or 8 state ballots. I do sympathize with him wanting to start a third party, which we sadly need. But now is not the time. He needs to join hands with a Democrat that can win in 2004. Otherwise, his legacy is going to be forever Flubbed: The man who brought us the reign of King George.