THE FLUB-A-DUB AWARD
March. The Ides of March. Maybe that is whats going on around here. Bad luck. Bad news. Bad boys.
Bush has his way and proceeds to decimate Iraq. "Shock and Awe." I would call it "Bullying and Wrong." I for one dont get it or buy it. The whole thing is flubbingly idiotic and massively undemocratic. The TV coverage should win an Oscar. "Biased and Staged."
Marc Wong, arrested for forgery and robbery. Too bad. A rising political star whose career seems to end before it begins. A lesson to young adults: You cant cheat your way to the top. Beware the Ides of March.
March Madness. Basketball. If you were an alien from another planet and tuned into the TV in March, youd swear the human species has nothing better to do than throw a ball around and try to stuff it in a cylinder 10 feet off the ground. It would be more interesting if they played the game like the Aztecs and Mayans did. The winning team was beheaded. Seems a bit odd, but none the less would probably help the ratings.
In the spirit of March, when Caesar was warned that impending doom was lurking just down the alley, effectively ignored the warning and ended up with a knife in his back, here are some modern day warnings that are likely to haunt us in the future. Take heed!
I. Dont plan on any vacations to Iraq in the near future. In fact, dont plan on any vacations anywhere in the near future. No one likes us.
2. After we win in Iraq, we lose.
3. Drinking too much alcohol causes stupidity.
4. Insanity can easily mask itself in patriotism.
5. Religion is to rightwinged Christians what a club was to the caveman. They can both beat you with it.
6. The Patriot Act has nothing over Hitlers Code of Ethics. In fact, there is a very clear and real connection.
7. Never hire an attorney who carries a calculator in his pocket.
8. Dont wear white underwear and eat chili.
9. Never have sex when the temperature is above 155 degrees.
10. If the Statue of Liberty starts crying, its time for an election.
Perhaps, like Caesar, you will be hesitant to listen to the words of the soothsayer. You think they are fickle and full of folly. Well, think about this: When Clinton was in town, I warned him about smoking cigars.
The Ides of March. Beware the Flub.