Spring. April 1st is just around the corner. I love April Fools Day. It seems so fitting of a day for the human race, and what with the weather, Mother Nature obviously also likes the day. Almost everyone goes out of their way to pay tribute to April 1st. So in honor of next Monday, here is my take on some of the biggest fools among us:

­­ Ken Lay and Enron: Here is a guy whose sole intent was to get rich, buy political favors to get even richer, and live out the rest of his life in opulent splendor. All, of course, at our expense. He did everything by the capitalist book. He was seen as a brave new hero of the business world and beloved by our President and Vice-President, and numerous other members of our government, more so for his generous giving than his economic prowess. So here's a guy who took the American promise to heart and made good on it: Riches come to those who have no qualms about cheating others. To Mr. Lay and his great American dream, Enron, have a happy April Fools Day. You deserve it.

­­ When would it be right and proper to use nuclear weapons against our enemies? This is the question Cohn Powell wants to answer. You talk about foolishness. This in fact is so stupid that I sent Mr. Powell an award: The Stupidest Thing I Have Ever Heard in a Long Time Award. This award is dedicated to people who are supposed to have wisdom but must have used it all up. And in a kind gesture I answered his question: It is never appropriate to use nuclear weapons and an affront to the human race to even raise the question. Such foolishness is going to get us all killed.

­­ Most politicians don't have a clue. These jokers have a sign across their foreheads: I will do anything foolish you ask of me if you just pay me enough. The incumbents always win because no one is foolish enough to run against them. We end up with a bunch of nitwits in charge. From township supervisors to the U.S. Congress, the amount of incompetence found along the way could pave a road to heaven. The sad part is, none of these idiots would be smart enough to take it. Fools rush in, where wise men once dared to tread.

­­ Anyone who believes you can end terror with war is foolish. War is terror. Killing is terror. Destruction is terror. America enforcing sanctions against other countries is terror. Hell, going to work some days is terror. If we were going to get rid of terror, we would have to hire a Jimmy Jones to poison us all, because we would all have to go. It's a silly and militaristic notion to think you can kill your way to peace.

­­ The most foolish person among us at present seems to be John Ashcroft, U.S. Attorney General. Here is a guy attempting to make fascism fashionable. He clearly has a limited repertoire of what right and wrong are. He can't see beyond his right-winged Christian ideology, which he firmly believes is the way all of us should think. This is a man that is far more dangerous than any terrorist you'll find dwelling in the back alleys of America. Here is a guy right out front who is leading us lock-stepped down a dangerous path. Missouri booted him, so should we. But I forget, we didn't vote him in. He came with the rest of this foolish mess, none of who were voted in.

They say a fool is born every second. I don't know how you can argue with that. Yes, I think April Fools Day should become a national holiday. We have earned the day off. Happy April Fools Day.

Uploaded to The Zephyr website March 27, 2002

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