Spring has arrived. The sweet smell of flowers and blooming trees. Spring is the time to begin building your energy to tackle those things that you need to do to get your house in order, your garden planted,your life straightened out and back on track. It's also a good time to be the recipient of the flub-a-dub award.

March's flub goes to the Republican Party, who have brought forth George W. Bush as the anointed one, to hopefully become the 45th President of the US of A.

George Jr., as he affectionately calls himself from time to time, particularly when courting campaign contributors from his father's heyday, is a relative newcomer to the political world. After losing a shot at Congress, he decided to take on Ann Richards, governor of Texas, in 1994. It is believed this may have been a payback for her oft-quoted remark about his father, who really was born with a silver foot in his mouth. Anyway, with a combination of good timing, good luck, and the three G's -- God, guns, and gays (bashing) -- he won. He has since won reelection, in a state where being governor ranks sixth, just below illegal alien catcher.

George doesn't need much more than his name to be successful in the political world. As fate would have it, that's about all he has. While having attended Yale, he is not known for putting together more than three consecutive sentences. At least not in any order that makes sense. When he deviates from his prepared speeches, he loses about 5 percent in the polls. He represents, much like our own Mark Baker, a new breed of politician who is not required to think on his or her own, but only repeats back the latest reasons why the other guy shouldn't be elected.

Aside from not being the brightest light on the Christmas tree, he does have numerous assets that make him a good candidate, particularly from the right-wing Christian perspective. For one, he is a born again Christian. He has repented for being a wild young man, womanizing and drugging into the early morning hours. I bet this guy was a real party animal. One night out with Bill Clinton would probably kill him. If he wanted to repent, he could have asked forgiveness for having a friend of his dad's arrange for him to get in the Texas National Guard during Vietnam. Seems his connections got him state-side duty. It's all documented.

Or he might want to repent for making tens of thousands of dollars from oil field deals that he knew nothing about. Again, his daddy's friends bailed him out of a failing business. Or how about the Texas Rangers deal. Knowing nothing about baseball, he once again gathered up investors loyal to the Bush name and bought the Texas Rangers. He talked the Texas legislature into creating a sports authority that was given the power to swindle land from owners, built a new stadium on the swindled land with taxpayers' money, and walked away with $15 million. His original investment was $600,000. Not bad for a day's work in Texas.

Or George might want to repent for his environmental record in Texas, the most polluted state in the union. Texas ranks first in dumping cancer-causing chemicals into the air and water; first in hazardous waste incinerators; first in total toxic releases into the environment. Rank in terms of environmental spending: 49th.

Or how about repenting for his record on health insurance. Texas has the highest rate of people with no health insurance in the country -- 25 percent.

Or the fact that Texas is the number one state to execute prisoners, now at 138 since 1976, even though countless questions have been raised concerning innocent people residing on death row in Texas, which numbers 450 on any given day.

Or the fact that George is clearly more interested in helping big business than he is in helping those on welfare.

He could stand to repent for the drumming he has given education in Texas. In order to get millions he wanted to give big business, he recommended cutting kindergarten funding by $250 million and slashing property-taxes by $1 billion. George doesn't like public education. He prefers the voucher system, helping religious schools to become taxpayer supported. The pray and pay plan.

Or how about the fact that just about any Tom, Dick, and/or Mary can carry a gun in Texas. George is real tight with the NRA. His motto: ''Guns don't kill people, liberals do.''

I for one am glad the Republicans have put forth George W. to carry the torch of right-wing ideology. George will lose in November. Not because of the person he is, but because of the philosophy he espouses. He has become a shill for the right-wing Christian ideologists who would have us believe America is the land of white, bible-thumping Christians who believe minorities and diversity are the crowning achievements of the Devil. I am convinced that, at this time in our collective history, the American people are not going to go for this nonsense any longer and will strongly make a turn to the left, which will be right. Remember, you read it here first. To my moderate Republican friends, I'm sorry. Your party is out of control. You're beginning to pick candidates like the Democrats traditionally have -- poorly. Happy flub.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online March 28, 2000

Back to The Zephyr