April. Ah, the Flubs are flying faster than the geese. I like April. I got a new golf bag for my birthday. If only my golf game looked as good as that bag. I went to the golf shop looking for a new driver. After a couple of practice swings with a real beauty, the head the size of a bushel basket and light as a feather, the owner suggested I take a golf lesson. That ain’t right.

Speaking of right. Right-wingers are becoming as plentiful as swarming termites. Everywhere I look, all I see are fundamental, conservative, right-leaning Christian soldiers surfacing as world leaders. It’s gotten so bad that some Democratic prognosticators are suggesting that those of us on the left, be it progressives, humanists, sectarians, or whatever it is we are suppose to be, need to start adopting some of the ways of the right, or face extinction. My answer is, goodbye. I’d sooner be known as an extinct left-wing liberal who just couldn’t adapt to life as a right-wing Christian soldier.

Apparently, there is a lot of Flubbing going on at the tax assessor’s office. (Actually, there” are two, one for the city and one for the rest of the county. Needless duplication.) When it comes to real estate taxes, never let it be said that anything is fair. The formulas they use to compute our bills would take a mathematician to figure out. But here it is, broken down into its simplest form: If property taxes go up, due to prosperity, our real estate taxes go up. If property values go down, due to pathetic leadership, our real estate taxes go up. Anyway, here’s a Flub to anyone who thinks that real estate taxes are a good idea. A higher state income tax would be much fairer.

April’s Flub goes to John Bolton, President Bush’s nominee for ambassador to the UN This guy is a real peach. Here’s what he has to say about the United Nations: “There is no such thing as the United Nations. If the UN Secretary Building in New York lost 10 stories, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.” And, “Diplomacy is not an end in itself if it does not advance U.S. interests.”

He is accused of bullying subordinates and sought to influence U.S. intelligence assessments improperly. It is clear that he should never have been nominated to be the UN ambassador. Bush wants him there to humiliate the organization and find reason to get us out, and not pay our dues. The President once again forces the Senate to do his business, not the people’s. Bolton is unfit to serve in the UN. He is a master Flubbed.