THE FLUB-A-DUB AWARD
April. I like April. My birthday is in April. I barely made it past my 52nd. I now see each birthday as a new opportunity, mainly to peeve you. Im looking forward to my 62nd. They say not to wish your life away, but Im sure going to enjoy getting back some of my Social Security payments. I hope to add considerably to the national debt.
April was full of Flubs. I like the new world domination team of Sharon (Israel) and Bush (U.S.). These two are doing more to destroy the world than any terrorist organization could ever hope to. Together, these two yahoos have created more terrorists than bin Laden could train in a lifetime. I would have to say, all things being equal, that there are not two more dangerous men alive today. (Thats giving Cheney and Ashcroft the benefit of the doubt).
The Regency, or Holiday Inn, or Days Inn, or whatever, sold for $685,000. Seems like a good buy, with millions having recently been used to refurbish it. And guess who one of the investors was? Us. You. The taxpayer. To the tune of $700,000. Another wise investment by the City. Will anyone be reprimanded or scrutinized for such a blunder? No, the whole thing will be swept under the proverbial "good old boys" carpet. This is a city where major Flubbing has no consequences, short of, perhaps, a raise.
AARP flubbed badly by backing Bushs Medicare reforms. Now theyre using our money to pay for commercials in an attempt to cover up their flub. Apparently somewhere in the neighborhood of 75,000 seniors have dropped their membership. While this is a small portion of AARPs overall members, it is a good start. Baby boomers need to dump this hotbed of Bushonomics. They have helped to bring an end to Medicare, rather than improving it and making it a viable program for decades to come. Dump AARP before they dump us.
April Fools! Never take for granted that what you are reading is accurate, or for that matter, in any way resembling reality. People write a lot of things and make up a lot of things. For instance, if I said all the ministers in town are gay, you might immediately jump to the conclusion that they are all homosexuals, when in fact what I really mean is that they are all happy, which I personally also doubt. Anyway, you can see that reading requires more than just ingesting the words. You should give it some critical thought. Does it make sense, given what you know? Is what you are reading satire, or comical, or maybe a bit of tragedy? Is it strictly for entertainment purposes, i.e. Rush Limbaugh. Anyone who would have accepted any of the articles on the front page of the April 1st addition of The Zephyr as factual, or in any way resembling reality, should be critical of no one but themselves. You Flubbed. You were April Fooled.