May flowers. Man, theyre pretty this year. Ive got some iris that could win at the county fair. And my rose bush is going to bloom for the first time in three years. If it werent for the war in Iraq, Maytag and Butler leaving town, a lousy economy, and those damn gay marriages, it would be a pretty good spring.
Disney gets Flubbed this month. They refused to allow Miramax, one of their subsidiaries, to distribute Michael Moores latest film, "Fahrenheit 9/11." Seems Mr. Eisner, CEO of Disney and a known Bushite, doesnt want anything to stand in the way of his buddys reappointment. "Fahrenheit 9/11" is a no-holds-barred expose on the Bush familys ties to the bin Laden family and Prince Bandar bin Sultan, ambassador from Saudi Arabia. (This is the guy promising to lower gas prices for the election). Moore sent a team of reporters and cameramen to Iraq to show the downside of war, things like bloody bodies, bombed out hospitals and mosques, and coffins. Bush and his cronies are doing everything possible to keep the film out of theaters, at the very least until after the election. At the Cannes Film Festival, Moore received the longest standing ovation, ever. And he took home top honors. If he does manage to get this film out by July 4th, Bushs popularity will go down into the 30s. It currently stands at 42 percent. At that level, he wont be able to be re-appointed.
I hear were going to become a tourism mecca. I can hardly wait. Im going to sell snow cones on the comer of Main and Seminary, although I suspect theres a rule against that. Galesburg is not a good comparison to Branson, Missouri. Branson is beautiful and has a huge amusement park next to it. Along with a gigantic lake. Unfortunately, all the damn has-been stars from Nashville moved there and ruined the whole thing. Still, I dont think it hurts to dream. Im still hoping Madonna falls in love with me.
The Flub of the month goes to those responsible for the atrocities that have occurred in Iraq. As though bombing them into oblivion wasnt bad enough, we now have to humiliate the prisoners that we are illegally holding. Ive always said you can judge a nation by how it treats its prisoners. Needless to say, were lacking. The faces on most of the soldiers being condemned are young. The generals, cabinet members, and the commander-in-chief always insulate themselves with multiple layers of protection. That protection is always young, inexperienced and gullible young adults. Thrown into hell without proper training and leadership, the final scene is always the same: Chaos, despair, and misery. Humans, when confronted with their own mortality, can become flubbingly idiotic and inhumane. While we each have to be responsible for our actions, the rest of us cannot be absolved from guilt. After all, these are our children. We led them to believe that war is somehow honorable.