August.
Cooled down some. Thank God.
I
was beginning to think this greenhouse
effect
thing was not just a liberal, communist
plot.
I love August. Good, fresh, homegrown
tomatoes.
Bacon, lettuce, and tomato
sandwiches,
with Miracle Whip. You canÕt
go
wrong. August also finds us celebrating
women
winning the right to vote in 1920,
Henry
David Thoreau being jailed for
protesting
the U.S. invasion of Mexico in
1842,
and Albert Einstein urging scientists
to
refuse military work in 1931. August has
been
a very good Peever month.
Things
just donÕt seem right. The world
seems
a lesser place. I think it all started
in
2000, when Bush stole an election.
Since
that time, things have steadily gone
downhill.
Wars, lies, secrets, spying, Maytag
leaving,
Super Wal-Mart coming, more trains
honking
longer and louder, ButlerÕs closing,
huge
national debt, huge personal debts,
harder
to file bankruptcies, jobs moving to
China,
jobs moving to India, jobs moving to
Mexico,
Mexico moving to the U.S., 5 cent
a
day fines on library books, a creationism
uprising,
a creationism downrising, perfume
toilet
paper, fewer unions, fewer labor laws,
more
paperwork, higher gas prices, higher
electricity
prices, higher natural gas prices,
higher
grocery bills, lower wages, more
cameras,
less governmental regulation,
more
governmental interference, stronger
storms,
less rain, high housing prices, poor
roads,
lousy bridges, unreliable trains, low
mileage
cars, higher tuition costs, poor
health
care, a mess on Seminary Street, the
Cubs
still losing, generals taking over civilian
jobs,
gambling financing government,
a
Muslim uprising against anyone who
is
Christian, a Christian uprising against
anyone
who is not Christian, globalization,
more
masturbation, more constipation,
genetically
altered food, bird flu virus,
Bushisms,
Cheneyisms, Rumsfeldisms,
Roveisms,
terrorism, bioterrorism, reneging
insurance
companies, Capitalism, a rightwing
Supreme
Court, the left-wing left
out,
Bush re-elected in another stolen
election,
alligators eating people in Florida,
dumb
becoming a national pastime,
oligarchy,
monarchy, monopoly, world
domination,
downsizing, lack of vision,
lack
of leadership, bigger weapons, more
weapons,
talk of using nuclear weapons,
long
plane lines, short fuses, more guns,
more
drugs, more prisoners, more prisons,
less
substance abuse treatment, less mental
health
treatment, harder welfare rules,
terrible
public transportation, terrorist alert
system,
illegal aliens, stagnation, Viagra,
300
million people, credit collectors in
India
calling us, Tom Cruise going nuts,
Arnold
Schwarzenegger turning Democrat,
Joseph
Lieberman turning Republican,
digging
up a field looking for Jimmy Hoffa,
headline
news for a guy claiming to have
raped
and killed a little girl, Republican
Knox
College professors, global warming,
increasing
pollution, decreasing corporate
accountability,
decreasing personal
responsibility,
cloning paranoia, stem-cell
paranoia,
same-sex divorces, drugs to help
you
not pee so much, people taking drugs
made
exclusively of poisons, taxes on about
everything,
the main news media owned
by
a few people, viable 9/11 conspiracy
theories,
letting people die intentionally
in
New Orleans, ethnic slurs, racial slurs,
homophobia,
profiling, Jews killing innocent
civilians,
privatized social security, torture,
unprecedented
gas company profits,
pension
funds going broke, Pat (Flub-a-
Dub)
Robertson, Rush (Limpy) Limbaugh,
Sean
(Mr. Buster) Hannity, Ann (Clarabell)
Coulter,
American Idol, So You Think You Can
Dance,
talk radio, and more fake ice cream.
Flubs
to the left of us, flubs to the right. If
it
get much worse, thereÕs sure to be a fight.
It
wouldnÕt be a pretty thing, it wouldnÕt be
just
right. But the one thing IÕm pretty sure, it
will
probably start at night. I would only ask
one
thing of you before you hit the street:
DonÕt
flub worse than them, be prepared to
wash
their feet.