August. Cooled down some. Thank God.

I was beginning to think this greenhouse

effect thing was not just a liberal, communist

plot. I love August. Good, fresh, homegrown

tomatoes. Bacon, lettuce, and tomato

sandwiches, with Miracle Whip. You canÕt

go wrong. August also finds us celebrating

women winning the right to vote in 1920,

Henry David Thoreau being jailed for

protesting the U.S. invasion of Mexico in

1842, and Albert Einstein urging scientists

to refuse military work in 1931. August has

been a very good Peever month.

Things just donÕt seem right. The world

seems a lesser place. I think it all started

in 2000, when Bush stole an election.

Since that time, things have steadily gone

downhill. Wars, lies, secrets, spying, Maytag

leaving, Super Wal-Mart coming, more trains

honking longer and louder, ButlerÕs closing,

huge national debt, huge personal debts,

harder to file bankruptcies, jobs moving to

China, jobs moving to India, jobs moving to

Mexico, Mexico moving to the U.S., 5 cent

a day fines on library books, a creationism

uprising, a creationism downrising, perfume

toilet paper, fewer unions, fewer labor laws,

more paperwork, higher gas prices, higher

electricity prices, higher natural gas prices,

higher grocery bills, lower wages, more

cameras, less governmental regulation,

more governmental interference, stronger

storms, less rain, high housing prices, poor

roads, lousy bridges, unreliable trains, low

mileage cars, higher tuition costs, poor

health care, a mess on Seminary Street, the

Cubs still losing, generals taking over civilian

jobs, gambling financing government,

a Muslim uprising against anyone who

is Christian, a Christian uprising against

anyone who is not Christian, globalization,

more masturbation, more constipation,

genetically altered food, bird flu virus,

Bushisms, Cheneyisms, Rumsfeldisms,

Roveisms, terrorism, bioterrorism, reneging

insurance companies, Capitalism, a rightwing

Supreme Court, the left-wing left

out, Bush re-elected in another stolen

election, alligators eating people in Florida,

dumb becoming a national pastime,

oligarchy, monarchy, monopoly, world

domination, downsizing, lack of vision,

lack of leadership, bigger weapons, more

weapons, talk of using nuclear weapons,

long plane lines, short fuses, more guns,

more drugs, more prisoners, more prisons,

less substance abuse treatment, less mental

health treatment, harder welfare rules,

terrible public transportation, terrorist alert

system, illegal aliens, stagnation, Viagra,

300 million people, credit collectors in

India calling us, Tom Cruise going nuts,

Arnold Schwarzenegger turning Democrat,

Joseph Lieberman turning Republican,

digging up a field looking for Jimmy Hoffa,

headline news for a guy claiming to have

raped and killed a little girl, Republican

Knox College professors, global warming,

increasing pollution, decreasing corporate

accountability, decreasing personal

responsibility, cloning paranoia, stem-cell

paranoia, same-sex divorces, drugs to help

you not pee so much, people taking drugs

made exclusively of poisons, taxes on about

everything, the main news media owned

by a few people, viable 9/11 conspiracy

theories, letting people die intentionally

in New Orleans, ethnic slurs, racial slurs,

homophobia, profiling, Jews killing innocent

civilians, privatized social security, torture,

unprecedented gas company profits,

pension funds going broke, Pat (Flub-a-

Dub) Robertson, Rush (Limpy) Limbaugh,

Sean (Mr. Buster) Hannity, Ann (Clarabell)

Coulter, American Idol, So You Think You Can

Dance, talk radio, and more fake ice cream.

Flubs to the left of us, flubs to the right. If

it get much worse, thereÕs sure to be a fight.

It wouldnÕt be a pretty thing, it wouldnÕt be

just right. But the one thing IÕm pretty sure, it

will probably start at night. I would only ask

one thing of you before you hit the street:

DonÕt flub worse than them, be prepared to

wash their feet.