THE FLUB-A-DUB AWARD

September. Fall is in the air. We got some much—needed rain, which was too late for my lawn. It’s dead as a door—nail. I think I’m going to concrete it, although that probably means I’ll have to pay higher taxes. That would be a serious Flub.

Speaking of taxes. We made our second real estate tax payment this month. Over the 23 years we have lived in our home, the taxes have gone steadily up. I suppose they aren’t all that bad, as compared to, say, Sonoma, California, or Hinsdale, Illinois, although if our home were located in either of those places, it might be worth more than the current $1.98. It’s a stupid tax that none of the politicians will do anything about. They’re all a bunch of Flubbers.

No weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. President Bush at first referred to an imminent threat posed by Iraqi weapons of mass destruction as a justification for war. Now he’s talking about maybe weapons programs. The U.S. won’t allow U.N. weapons inspectors back into the country. We set up our own inspectors, the Iraq Survey Group. Lord knows what this "unbiased" group of military personnel might find. I’m betting something. The perfect Flub in the making.

Speaking of perfect Flub’s, the investigation into 9/11 is a lulu. William Bunch, a reporter for the Philadelphia Daily, lists a few things the investigating committee seems to have missed:

1. There was a report given to Bush by National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice informing him that bin Laden may use high-jacked planes as weapons well before 9/11. The committee never saw this report. Bush claimed executive privilege.

2. Attorney General Ashcroft and various other Pentagon officials started using private charter planes for travel as early as July 26. Why?

3. Somebody make a fortune "shorting" United stock on 9/10. Someone knew the stock would be going down. Why did this go unnoticed? And who made the fortune?

4. Some of the reported high-jackers have been seen alive since 9/11. No one has said a word about this. Why?

5. Why did the NORAD Air Defense System fail? This was the worse breakdown of national defense since Pearl Harbor. Why was no one fired? Or even reprimanded?

6. Why were the people of New York lied to about air quality? An EPA warning was changed by the head of the White House Council on Environmental Quality, a former lawyer for the asbestos industry.

7. What was Pakistan and Saudi Arabia’s role in all of this? Three key Saudis were fingered by Abu Zubaydah, a bin Laden lieutenant. All three died within an 8—day period. That’s really bad luck.

8. Donald Rumsfeld and other key administration officials were quick to finger Saddam Hussein as a key figure in the 9/11 attacks, a theory today known to be untrue.

9. The final congressional report had 28 blacked out pages. One has to wonder what they might say.

Another glimpse into Bush World, where the truth is a distant memory, and keeping information from us has become an art form. One big Flub after another. And the idiots impeached Clinton for getting a blow job. That’s nothing compared to the screwing we’re getting now.