Zinga Zinged

The Flub-A-Dub Award turns seven this month. My, how time flies when you’re having fun.

The Flub started out as part of the Leave It To Peever column, but it wasn’t long before people were begging me to see their name in a special column. So for the last seven years, the mayor, the County Board, Maytag, Rush Limbaugh, the governor, the President, the CIA, the city manager, all of these and many others, have been the proud recipients of the Flub-A-Dub Award. It has been suggested that the Flub is such a prestigious and sought after award that it might in fact be equal to the Nobel Prizes or the Oscars. I don’t know, I was thinking The Flub is a little more important than that.

Anyway, we had a lot of competition for this special September award. Bush made a last minute play for it by making a fool out of himself at the United Nations. His words are increasingly antagonistic and demeaning to the rest of the world. If he should be allowed to steal another four years as president, watch for him advocating that the U.S. leave the United Nations. This would score well with his right-wing buddies. Homeland Security made a strong last minute play for the Flub by deporting Cat Stevens, the singer, who is now called Yusuf Islam, after becoming a Muslim. Seems he at times speaks out against the U.S. Sorry, Cat, that’s a no-no. The U.S. government also took a stab at this month’s Flub for its ongoing suppression of voters. It is estimated that upwards of five million people will be turned away this election due to legal barriers, faulty procedures, and dirty tricks. Felons are turned away, even if they have paid their dues to society. Many minorities are deterred from voting simply by election officials demanding to see a driver’s license before handing them a ballot. Many voters who register late may not find their names on the voting list due to delays in processing. Ain’t it funny that many of these people would normally vote Democratic. I also did like The Register-Mail’s headline of Sept. 19, "Do we need a RR job fair, or a career fair." Such tough questions. I would say we need: jobs. Railroad jobs. That was close to a Flub.

But the September Flub-A-Dub Award goes to Andrea Zinga, Republican candidate for the U.S. House in the 17th Congressional District. I saw Andrea out at the Maytag rally here the other week. She seemingly has an unusual style of campaigning. She never got out of her car. Under the circumstances, that was probably a wise choice. As much as I know, she would be supportive of President Bush’s deporting of all our jobs. You know, globalization. Anyway, I tried to engage her in some meaningful debate by holding my "Support our troops, Dump Bush" sign in front of her window. She shook her head in a way that I don’t think was supportive of my position.

The first words out of her mouth on the campaign trail were, "Vote for me, Lane Evans is too sick to perform his duties." She’s lacking a little bit in the area of tactfulness. Frankly, I’d take a blind, deaf, and dumb Evans before I would the pretty, TV-faced Zinga.

The only other thing I’ve heard her talk about is her support for a constitutional amendment that would allow Congress to overrule decisions made by the Supreme Court that they don’t like. Now I hate to be the one to bring this up, but I thought I heard in Government 101 that the Executive, Judicial, and Legislative branches of the government exist as a check and balance on one another, so that no one branch becomes too powerful. Zinga either missed that lesson or she went to a right-wing private academy for future political misfits. (Alan Keyes, I hear, was her instructor).

Zinga will lose by 8—10 percentage points. Actually, she lost the minute she accused Evans of being too sick to perform his duties. We didn’t need to hear anything else from her. That said it all. She was history. Andrea, you may lose the election, but you won the Flub. Congratulations.