October! Where does the time go? Seems the older you get, the quicker it flies. Why, it was only yesterday I was sitting on the deck swatting those damn fake ladybugs. They look so cute. Then they bite you. They’re giving ladybugs a bad name.

A big October Flub goes to California. Only in California would they throw out a politician and bring in an actor. And they think they got something different! I personally was pushing for Gallagher, since he came to town and threatened to blow up a Maytag refrigerator on the town square. That would have seemed to qualify him to be governor, particularly of California. Oh well, what can you do? With any amount of luck, an earthquake will take California out to sea. Schwarzenegger Island. Sounds good to me.

Rush Limbaugh Flubbed big in October. Darn it! Here’s a guy with a long history of bigotry, deceit, lie—telling, and general all around buffoonery, who can’t keep his mouth shut long enough to keep pain pills out, hired to do football commentary. Whatever lame—brain hired him should be looking for work. On top of losing his second TV job, he ends up addicted to pain pills. Let’s review what he has to say about illegal drug use: "And so, if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused, and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up." Or how about on why so many blacks are in jail for drug use: "What this says to me is that too many whites are getting away with drug use.. .The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river too." And finally, because a crime is a crime is a crime, no matter who, what, when, where, or why: "There’s a simple way to solve the crime problem: Obey the law, punish those who do not." Sometimes you can’t argue with Rush’s logic. I hate to Flub a guy when he’s down, but you got to love it when these right—winged yahoo’s get caught up in their own web.

The October Flub wouldn’t be complete without including the Cubs. The curse of the Billy Goat rears up its ugly head again. I really didn’t think they could blow it. After all, they only needed to win one of two games at home. I did, however, bet against them. In the scheme of things, anything is possible, almost. I happen to know the one thing that’s not. The Billy Goat rules! What they need is a good Billy Goat exorcist, and I just happen to be one. For a mere $100,000, I’ll unload the curse on them. Until than, there’s always next year.

So Happy Flub—A—Dub to California, Rush, the Cubs and those damn biting ladybugs.