The Flub-A-Dub Award

December, 2000

by Bruce Weik

The weather definitely qualifies for the Flub. What a mess! My body belongs in a warmer climate. My mind is already there.

I'd go to Florida, but I'm boycotting it. Can you believe Florida? Mickey Mouse must be in charge. They can't even manage to have an honest election. And somehow just by coincidence Jeb Bush is reputed to be the mouse in charge. It all seems very quaint and clever. Any kind of reasonable recount in the future will show that Gore received the most votes, which of course won't make much difference at that point. It would at least vindicate the citizens. I bet brother Jeb gets one hell of a Christmas present this year. What a colossal Flub.

The Supreme Court came out of the whole mess smelling like a ten day old dead fish. I must be confused. I thought they were supposed to be a non-biased, non-partisan judicial body, not the Republican National Committee. Decked out in their black robes, about the best thing they could do at this point is join a choir. How about The Right-Wing Republican Boys (and Girls). They are beyond a doubt Flub-A-Dub material.

W. George-elect is claiming to be an advocate of diversity. His first three appointments are all minorities. Keep track of his next 97. George's claim to being a champion of the underdog is about as likely as Arnold Swartzenegger being a reincarnation of Betty Boop. There's some clear Flubbing going on here.

Christmas is definitely a time of Flubs. I love the spirit of Christmas, but I don't like the way we play it out. There's way too much hype and commercialism for me. I really don't think Christ would approve. Here was a man born of the poor, and who spent his entire life working amongst the poor. That he would have even considered entering a mall is beyond my wildest imagination. He seemingly needed little to do his work. Flub-A-Dub us all for buying into such nonsense.

I've decided to count the New Year as the beginning of the new millennium. For all practical purposes, when the 1 turned to a 2, the new millennium arrived. However, I didn't have a lot of luck this year, so I'm selfishly starting the millennium over. Sitting here, I get to feeling pretty sorry for myself. Such thoughts are worthy of the Flub, but it doesn't seem right to Flub myself. It ends up it doesn't much matter who is president, or how unfair life may seem, or whether Galesburg runs its own cable company. It only matters that you take what you were given and do the best with it that you can. Be thankful for life, and in the end be grateful for what it is you do have, not resentful for what it is you don't. In life's final moments, it seems it's not material wealth, or perceived power, or position attained that will carry you through, but whether or not you still have possession of your soul. December's Flub-A-Dub goes to the people and things that try to steal it away.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online December 27, 2000

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