THE FLUB-A-DUB AWARD

December. Cold. Snow. Unbelievable heating bills. The only thing that don’t figure is why I’m still here. Actually, I’m eagerly waiting for Super Wal-Mart to materialize. I’m hoping to become a greeter there. Of course, I’m also hoping to unionize them, so I’m not too certain how it will all work out.

Even though its been colder than the knobs on a brass knocker, the flubs have continued to fly. Keep your eyes on the concessions that the city will make to Wal-Mart and Menards. You’ll witness the largest retail store in the world eagerly willing to take as much as they possibly can from us. And you’ll see the city council puckering up faster than someone who ate an unripe persimmon. It should be quite a Flubbingly delicious display of economic tomfoolery. Probably worthy of an Oscar nomination.

The Baptist outfit that rolled into town the other week protesting gays is a pretty good example of a religious Flub. I’ ‘m not sure why this group showed up at a military funeral. I was never able to make that add up, but then I have trouble making a lot of Baptist things add up. I heard they also went down to Knox to yell obscenities at some of the gay students. A stunning example of Christianity at its best. I hope this group of nitwits has an opportunity to visit us again in the near future. I’ll try to make the show.

Despite some tight competition, December’s Flub goes to AmerenlP and all the other energy companies who are stiffing us this winter. Along with the gas companies, they didn’t miss an opportunity to quadruple their profits? They used a hurricane for a great excuse. Oh, I imagine the government will spend a million or two investigating. And I can just guess the result: “Gee, it seems they sure made a lot of money off of everyone’s misery, but that kind of thing is to be expected in a capitalist society.” I find it hard to believe we continue to put up with this charade. I think it is way past time that we start Flubbing around with them rather than them Flubbing around with us.