Washington needs a clyster


— Bumper sticker of the week: They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. Joni Mitchell

— Quotes of the week: ÒIt is horrifying to have to fight our government to save the environment.Ó Ansel Adams

ÒI can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.Ó George Bums

ÒNature is not a place to visit. It is home.Ó Gary Snyder

— I heard on the TV that we have 19 new start-up businesses in Galesburg. So I tracked them down to see how many new jobs they created. It didnÕt add up to a hill of beans. More economic development nonsense.

— Power bills create problems: ÒThe Great American Swindle.Ó Power companies are making a killing, as are the gas distributors. Nothing better than a nature disaster to help the bottom line. After all, who can muster up an argument against Mother Nature? ItÕs about time we did. You would think eventually the American people are going to say enough is enough. Well, maybe not. Corporate America promotes confusion between capitalism and democracy. They want the two to remain synonymous. They are not synonymous. One is a license to steal, the other is the right to make it right.

— Iraqi fiasco: Another election. Another fiasco. Anyone in their right mind canÕt possibly believe an American forced election would be anywhere close to fair. They say the results will be let out in a month or so. I suppose Bush is on vacation until then. It wouldnÕt surprise me a bit to see Jeb Bush win. His brother owes him big-time.

— Can retail stores revive a community? IÕm hoping yes, but betting no.

— Maytag and Butler bail out of real estate tax obligations: You can move a business out of a community, but you canÕt move the buildings. Galesburg has a long history of real estate obligations burning down, but there are apparently higher-tech methods nowadays. Enter a California company that buys both properties at a fraction of their appraised value. The question becomes: Is this what it appears to be? This is probably a question the City of Galesburg needs to take up, but who am I kidding. TheyÕll invite this California company to town and treat them like kings. ThatÕs the Galesburg way. Close your eyes and bend over. This wonÕt hurt a bit.

— A stamp scam: I never go looking for irregularities in human behavior, but they just seem to follow me around. I need to pick up some stamps at HyVee around December 22. All they have to sell me are 39 cent stamps. I tell them that the rate increase is not approved until Jan.8. They tell me tough. So I call the USPS. Seems the stamps can be sold now, but you donÕt have to use them until Jan. 8. Nice little quirk in the law. WhoÕs going to buy them now and not use them? So, of course, itÕs our, the public's, fault. I should have known.

— How do you spell relief?:

¥   A special recall election to replace the President would help.

¥   How about no more war?

¥   How about at least one or two politicians in Washington developing a conscience?

¥   IÕd like to see all the oil and gas companies nationalized. That would be some fun relief.

¥   It would be a relief to see anyone scamming the poor turned into a frog. Washington would immediately become the frog raising capital of the world, and the frog leg feeds would be a great way to feed the hungry.

¥   Relief comes in the form of universal health-care.

¥   How do you spell relief: CLYSTER.