­­Bumper sticker of the week: Support your local revolution.

­­Answering the E-mail:

-- Question: Where did you ever get the name The Peever?--

Answer: I take it you don't read the column very often? It just kind of developed.--

Question: It wasn't very nice what you had to say about Carl Sandburg College the other week?

-- Answer: I know. I been apologizing to Kentucky families ever since.

-- Question: Do you believe you are ever wrong about anything?--

Answer: I believe it's possible, but not likely.--

Question: My health insurance premium recently doubled. What's going on?--

Answer: You are in the process of being screwed. Smile!--

Question: Do you think a person can get a fair trial today?--

Answer: Well, let's see. Judges are attorneys who couldn't make it as lawyers; lawyers are attorneys who couldn't kiss enough butt to make it as judges; juries are comprised solely of persons in early stage Alzheimer's; and police officers haven't got a clue what's legal and illegal when they are questioning suspects. Aside from that, everything seems to be fine.--

Question: Have you ever heard of a ''justifiable'' war?--

Answer: Yes. I heard of such a thing while I was in seminary. I quit the next day.--

Question: Do you believe Mayor Giuliani deserved to be Time Magazine's ''Man of the Year''?--

Answer: No. He was a lousy, heavy-handed, dehumanizing mayor before Sept. 11th, and not much better after. The only person he outperformed was W. George, which in my opinion isn't saying much.--

Question: We have finally had a casualty in the War. What do you think?--

Answer: What War? In a War the other side has to fight back. Otherwise you call it a slaughter.

­­ Definition of bipartisanship: I'll kiss your elephant if you kiss my ass.

­­ To all you right-winged ministers out there: Hatred is not a family value.

­­ It ain't over till your brother counts the votes.

­­The only answer the mental health field has had over the past hundred years for helping people with emotional problems is to drug them into financial despair.

­­ My new motto: Everything I say is true. And nothing I say is not.

­­ Here's a good one. Songs from The Managed Care Blues Band:--

You're One Hip Mamma (cause they won't pay for two).--

Oh, Humana Don't You Cry For Me.--

You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Blue Shield.

HMO's are an invention of the rich. They have no intentions of looking out for your health care needs. They are in business to make money and the only way to do so is to give you less service. Always be on the lookout when they're around. Never, ever, bend over in front of them.

­­ The government has finally admitted that Gulf War Veterans may be having some health difficulties. After ten years of battling with the Defense Department, the government has admitted to an unusually high incidence of Lou Gehrig's Disease in Gulf War Veterans. In fact, of the 697,000 Gulf War Veterans, 370,600 are being compensated for a variety of disabilities. So welcome to the military. Go travel with them. See the world. Earn college money. Learn a trade. Compensation is good. In fact, you may end up paying for it the rest of your life.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online January 8, 2002

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