-- Bumper sticker of the week: Bush & Sons, Inc. (formerly the United States of America).--

Quote of the week: ''Everyone succumbs, on occasion, to temptation, whether in the form of a lover, a double-chocolate brownie, or a pair of shoes they just can't live without. But there are those among us who don't just possess desire -- desire possesses them.--

'' In Search of Grace, Kristin Hahn.--

Poor Rich Men: I've heard arguments lately in support of Bush's tax plan that suggest that rich people shouldn't be taxed. Don't make them pay for such mundane things as roads, bridges, public school systems, help for the poor. Let them spend their money on $500,000 homes, $55,000 cars, $250,000 yachts, and enough stock in their companies to keep the price artificially prodded up.--

Editor makes good point: The editor of The Zephyr, Norm Winick, made an excellent point in his front page article a couple weeks ago. Galesburg needs to open itself up to innovative ideas like this. The days of luring manufacturing and retail businesses to Galesburg by giving them tax breaks and other free incentives is ending. It has failed! These are the types of ideas we need to have come forward to examine. We cannot afford to elect people intent on taking us back to where we've been. Without implementing some progressive ideas, we in all likelihood will soon be a community of 25,000, proud of our past, with no future.--

Ways to make Bunker Links more profitable:

­­ Caddies in bikinis.

­­ A season pass should only cost $100. The season should last from the 1st of the month to the last of the month.

­­ Tee times on weekends and holidays should be sold for $500 per foursome, per season.

­­ Anyone caught throwing their club would either be put to death, or have to sign over their estate to the course. If the deficit continues, we may need to implement both.

­­ We could sell those albino ground squirrels to zoos for $5,000 each.

­­ We could install coin operated ball washers.

­­ Anyone caught shagging balls would have to pay a $1000 fine.

­­ Cussing would result in a $10 per cuss word fine, to be used to pay for someone to manage the course for the city.--

Male stages of life:

Age: Drink:

17: beer

25: beer

36: martini

48: double martini

65: Maalox

Age: Favorite sport:

17: sex

25: sex

36: sex

48: sex

65: napping

Ideal age of marriage partner:

at 17-25

25-30

36-36

48-36

65-25--

This would be one Hell of a place:

­­ The only movies star Adam Sandler.

­­ The only thing to eat is beans.

­­ The only company to invest in is Enron.

­­ The only means of travel is by bus.

­­ Politicians are highly thought of.

­­ The only music is country.

­­ No Miller Lite commercials.



Uploaded to The Zephyr website January 21, 2003

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