­­ Bumper sticker of the week: Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of alcohol.

­­ Quote of the week: ''I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.'' ''Showing up is 80 percent of life.''

''I don't believe in the afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.'' Woody Allen

­­ I see the Illinois Commerce Commission is going to look into the tree trimming practices of utility companies. There's a good one. They'll spend tens of thousands of dollars, take two years, and their answer will be that it's too bad they chop all the trees in half, but it's for our own good. The ICC has never wrinkled the feathers of the utility companies, lest they lose their high-paying appointed positions. Putting the fate of trees in their hands is going to leave us with a lot of firewood.

­­ The ability of finding and maintaining an edge in economic development does not so much have to do with location, deals, and secrecy as it has to do with people. How do you manage to attract them? What makes people want to live in any certain place? If it's weather, we're in trouble. Ours is lousy. Short of building a dome over Knox County, it is incumbent on us to create an atmosphere that is stimulating and challenging to the heart, mind, and soul. One that is open to experimentation and diversity. If we work to create such a place, they will come.

­­ Sometimes I long for the good old days:--

You got into a car and didn't have to strap yourself in.--

There were toilets that you never had to flush.--

When you were sitting in a theater, no one's phone rang.--

You could go to any doctor you wanted. Paying was most generally optional.--

When you called someone, you talked to a person, not a machine.--

You dealt with local companies you could trust, or at the worst, you could find the

owner and choke him or her. Now there are only foreign entities.--

The President was elected, not chosen.--

You could eat whatever you wanted, and not be made to feel like you were

committing suicide.--

Families ate together, prayed together, and made plans to send their kids to summer camp together while the parents filed for divorce.

­­ Things I learned from grandpa:--

If you're hungry for a squirrel, go out back and shoot one.--

Always plant more in the garden than you need. That way, you can take the extras

over to the neighbor ladies.--

Beer is not near as dangerous to drink as well water.--

Time is not something to watch, it is something to use.--

Don't wander so far from home that you forget where you came from.--

When grandma serves supper, you better be there.--

If you have to go to church to find God, you're not looking near hard enough.--

A carp tastes just as good as a bass when you're hungry.--

I'll never forget the day my father died. My grandpa said he wished it would have been him instead. I learned all I ever needed to know about my grandpa that day.

­­ To help me think things through a bit more cautiously, I have adopted the City Council's new slogan: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, three to get ready, three to get ready...

­­ There are all kinds of events for numerous causes nowadays. Walk for Heart Attacks, Jog for Dogs, Marathons for AIDS. I'm going to get my own benefit going -- Napping for Weik. The cause is my need to move to a warmer climate. Since I am already a non-profit enterprise, I should have no trouble with the IRS. So come on folks, get with the program. A nap a day will send the Peever away.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online January 23, 2001

Back to The Zephyr