Peever wins national writing award

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush/Cheney 2004: They’re going down.

– Quotes of the week: "Art is spirituality in drag." Jennifer Yane

"The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself." Rita Mae Brown

"The writer does not learn to write so that he can ‘write,’ but because without the necessary tools he cannot dig his way out of prison." Alan Swallow

– Are you really that sensitive?: To all you right-winged Republicans out there–it’s not you I personally object to. After all, you must surely be a human being. It’s your mind, or lack thereof, and your actions that appall me. You must have been potty trained on the right side of the pot. I’m truly, deeply, sincerely, sorry about that. But it’s no excuse.

– Watching the NFL playoffs and the Super Bowl, the commercials were occasionally interrupted by the game.

– Hitchhiking the galaxy: Here we go again. To the moon, Alice! Just what we need, more moon rocks. There must be a lot of NASA scientists that vote. I have to admit, I do like the pictures from Mars. It looks so inviting. Maybe the President can live there? No, I bet we give it to the Indians.

– Speaking of national priorities: I never figured steroids in sports to be a major national concern? I guess I was wrong. Apparently it’s more important than the environment, adequate housing for everyone, hunger, AIDS, Social Security, or buying our way out of Iraq. More national distractions so Bush and his henchmen can run around raping and pillaging the world.

– Parts of the Patriot Act have been found to be unconstitutional. There’s a brilliant judicial summation. The whole thing is fascist garbage.

– New infringements on our rights:

• A new 5 minute waiting period before you can purchase a missile launcher.

• Cab drivers have a right to ask you to frisk them.

• Silicone has been added to the "dangerous chemical" list. A lot fewer women are flying.

• Free speech now costs 99 cents a minute.

• If you’re not prone to follow, you’re suspect.

– Sign your child may be a terrorist:

• Watches the 700 Club.

• An Uzi was on his Christmas list.

• Thinks a cell is something you join.

• John Ashcroft shows up at your door.

• Honest, the beard thing was only a joke.

– America has always been the land of the rich and the home of the haves: From its very inception, America has been built on a pile of myths and historical half-truths, if not out and out lies. The Constitution was never designed for the poor man. Most of the founding fathers were rich, white men intent on getting richer. Numerous of them owned slaves. Every man, created equal, was a fanciful notion that they didn’t believe. Every war that has been fought since has been fought by the poor, to make the rich richer and their money safer. Money, power, and greed have outweighed any altruistic notions of peace, freedom, and democracy. We are a nation locked into sickening half-truths and dishonest historical reporting. Worst of all, we believe most of it. We have fallen and we can’t seem to get it right.

– You heard it here first: British Prime Minister Blair is history. He may get on in the Bush administration, but his lying ways will get him thrown out of parliament.

– And The Peever wins a big, national writing award: The damn thing only cost me $5,000. I get my picture on the front page of The Register-Mail and free Ding Dongs for life. Ain’t life great?