Janet Jackson’s got nothing on us. We’re all a bunch of boobs.

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush 2004: It takes a village idiot.

– Quote of the week: "As Christmas approaches, I’m reminded of the ice storm that knocked out electricity to hundreds of thousands of homes in North Carolina last year. During the week we went without power, Norma and I slept in front of our fireplace every night, huddled together for warmth. Before the week ended, I happened to drive through a neighborhood that was one of the first to get power back. When I say a brightly lit Santa on someone’s lawn, I had a momentary urge to do something unneighborly. How envious I felt: they had power and we didn’t. Then I wondered: in a world where 800 million people don’t have enough to eat, what’s it like to feel this way every day of your life?" Sy Safransky

– Fortune Magazine’s "most admired company": Wal-Mart. Wouldn’t you know it. The company that’s screwing America the hardest turns out to be capitalism’s darling. Let’s see: Wal-Mart is among America’s most sued companies for such things as sexual discrimination, failure to pay overtime, hiring illegal workers, giving poor benefits to a majority of its workers, poor health insurance, and Wal-Mart takes a hard-line stance against unions, costing many employees their jobs. In fact, Wal-Mart has been known to close a store rather than let it unionize. So think about this the next time you head for "America’s most admired store." Don’t give the richest family in the world any more of your money.

– The next time Bush wants to start a war, have I got an idea: No more of this "poor guy" doing all of the fighting. If war is such a good idea, let Congress, the President, and his whole band of merry white men be the first to go. No more hiding in bunkers in Virginia or Nevada. If they’re going to lead, they should lead. And the CEO’s of corporate America should follow. Most of these guys bought their way out of the service in the first place, so here is a chance for them to show their "real stuff." I think it should become a law, or an amendment to the Constitution. The politicians and rich should have equal opportunity to earn Purple Hearts. I suspect, if the American people supported such an idea, that war would become extinct. I don’t think these folks are into Purple Hearts or Medals of Honor. I have a feeling they like to hand them out better than they do receive them.

– Where we could all end up:

• In a world where Christians are substantially outnumbered by other faiths, it’s quite possible

no one will answer when we go knocking on heaven’s door.

• We could end up taking the higher road, but it’s not likely.

• We could end up living on Mars, but I’m still kind of figuring we’ll end up giving it to the


• It may not be long before we’re going to all end up in unemployment lines.

• I have a fairly good notion we may end up where we started, once again having to crawl out of the primordial ooze.

– I’m off for a week of golf in Alabama. Some of the reasons I like golf:

• In order t get a good score, you have to have a good arm. Mine ain’t bad.

• No one bellyaches about your cussing, unless you take your wife.

• You can wash your balls on every hole.

• If your clubs don’t work, you can throw them in the lake and buy new ones.

• Every time I get a birdie, I call it an eagle.

• Every time someone yells "Fore," I’m looking around to see where she’s at.

• Drive for show, putt for dough. I can’t do either, so I cheat.

– The Pat Summerall Award: The fine art of buying recognition. I’ve tried it myself, but the Pulitzer Prize committee seems to have a certain level of integrity that Summerall must have dismissed. My $5,000 didn’t cut it. Some are calling the purchase of this award a gamble. For gamblers, taking a risk is not unusual. But they usually gamble with their own money. With GREDA, this gamble is sheer stupidity. While one in a million gamblers might make it, most are broke and jobless, which is exactly going to be the outcome here. We need more than a gamble around here. We need a new direction and new people to lead us. Try this for a gamble: For $30,000 a year, I’ll run the Chamber and GREDA both, since they’re one and the same anyway. That will save us over $100,000 right off the bat. And I don’t have a clue what I would be doing, which seems to be one of the main criteria. So let’s go for it. $100,000 should buy us one hell of an award.