LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

– Bumper sticker of the week: Like father, like son: One term only.

– Quotes of the week: "Being poor is downright inconvenient." Cheryl

"If I had a choice, I wouldn’t choose poor." Buddy

"Christianity makes it very clear that you are going to be much better off trying to get into heaven having been poor rather than rich. It sounds fishy that the only break you ever get being poor comes after you die." ThePeevercom

– The State of the Union: "There are a lot of things screwed up since W. George was appointed to the Presidency. God help us." The Peever’s official response to the State of the Union address.

– Read Stupid White Men by Michael Moore. It will help you to understand why this country is going to hell in a handbasket.

– Speaking of the State of the Union address: Can you believe it? Seventy—six interruptions for applause, with numerous standing ovations. There must have been a lot of right—winged Republicans present. Here is a guy who can’t string together four sentences, mispronounces one out of ten words, and can’t read what they put in front of him on the teleprompter, who gets treated like one of the world’s best orators and statesman. It’s all make—believe. Stupid white men.

– Crisis—oriented economic development: How is it that you somehow need to start a 400—acre industrial park on a crisis basis? Maybe it’s because the powers that be don’t want you to have time to figure out who they intend on paying $10,000 for an acre of land, which is presently $7,000 more than it is worth. The bravado and hoopla that GREDA, the Chamber, and the City Council make out of what should be an ongoing planning process is something of a work of art, designed primarily to impress us and justify their jobs. Some of this stuff makes Stupid White Men look smart. The Council needs to take their time, openly discuss all the ramifications of any particular project, spend money wisely, and quit blindly following.

– Have you taken a look at those state salaries for political appointees? Why, $60,000, $70,000, $80,000 is nothing. You can pretty much bet none of these folks have ever made that kind of money in the real world. If anyone ever asks why the state is broke, tell them to add up all the salaries for politicians, political appointees, and administrators. Bingo! The mystery has ended. Of course, the same holds true for federal, county, and city government. And the salaries are only the beginning. These people all have the best retirement plan available today, excellent health care insurance, and get off more days than anyone, short of teachers. When you think about it, taxpayer—financed jobs are some of the best in the land. So even though you may be working two minimum wage jobs, with no benefits, no health insurance, and no retirement, take heart. You’re helping some politician, political appointee, or hired administrator to enjoy the life you can only dream of. Then again, I suppose we could always run for office, or pal up to someone who does. This is an equal opportunity screw job.

– The Peever’s five best places to live:

• I’ve always favored Madison, Wisconsin. I lot of weird people, which for some reason appeals to me. I especially like Eli’s Deli.

• Boulder, Colorado. Nice location, being somewhat spoiled by all the senseless yuppies, but once again, a nice selection of weird people.

• Paris, France. Never been there, but it sounds like a great place to live. Besides, the French people seem to be smarter than us. They don’t like Bush.

• Cancun, Mexico. You can live like a king in Mexico, so long as someone sends you money, which I’ve never been able to arrange. Great beach, friendly natives, and lots of tequila.

• Rio. Not Rio de Janeiro, but Rio, Illinois. It’s quiet, the crime rate is low, no bricks falling from skyscrapers, terrorists are at a minimum, taxes low, property cheap, and it’s a hop, skip, and jump to Ontario.