LEAVE
IT TO PEEVER
Hillary and Obama
— Bumper sticker of the
week: Once youÕre over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
— Quote of the week:
ÒWhat I really wanted to say was how this animal had touched our souls and
taught us some of the most important lessons of our lives. A person can learn a
lot from a dog. Marley taught me about loving each day with unbridled
exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He
taught me to appreciate things. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about
optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and
selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty.Ó Marley & Me, John Grogan
— A sign I saw posted
on the edge of one of our proud prison towns in Illinois: Danger — You
are entering an understaffed prison zone.
— Marriage lessons:
¥ Emotional commitments
have nothing to do with legal commitments. While a marriage license does have
some positive benefits, in legal terms, it has nothing to do with marriage
commitments.
¥ Love has too many
ambiguous meanings for it to be of much use in a marriage. It canÕt be pinned
down, which I think is the nature of the word. People who rely strictly on love
to keep a marriage going will most often end up divorced. I think the following
might better serve you to develop and maintain a lasting marriage:
1. Preparation: Know who
you are marrying. It would help to wait until you are at least 25. Then have a courtship of at
least one year. Minimum. Here is the important part: What you see during that
time is what you get. Any violence, rudeness, excessive drinking,
unfaithfulness, bale.
2. Commitment: Go into a
marriage feeling youÕre only going to do this once. The largest single factor
in long-term marriages is the fact that the couple do not consider divorce as
an option. They make a commitment not to fail. This is not to say that some
marriages should not end in divorce. That would be unrealistic and unwise. Some
things cannot be fixed, but the commitment to make it work will narrow that list,
as will good preparation.
3. Compromise: Compromise
is a necessary ingredient to longevity in a marriage. When two people come
together, they are bringing two family histories with them that may be
completely different. In a sense, a battle then ensues to see which set of
family rules will survive. The classic example of this is the argument on how
the toilet paper should be put on the roll. Does the paper come off the top or
the bottom. Other examples might be who handles the finances, who disciplines the
children, how are they disciplined. The list goes on and on. We each think we
know how these things should be done by having observed our parents.
Compromising your position is a vital step forward in helping a marriage grow.
(Caution: This should not be a one-sided affair. Both individuals need to
compromise their positions.)
4. Forgiveness: We are all
going to make mistakes. Some are harder to forgive than others. If you cannot
forgive, youÕre not going to be married very long. ItÕs that simple.
And by the way, if any of
these suggestions help you, please send $100. Sorry, no checks.
— Obama is in: So
far, I won a dinner. I bet heÕd get in. I felt public pressure would force him
to consider. While a little hype is involved, he looks like our best shot at
salvation. Now I hope he can win. Should be interesting. DonÕt count Hillary
out. I would pick her second. I think the Democratic race is between those two.
So far the Republicans have not come up with a viable candidate. Giuliani is
make-believe and McCain is washed up. IÕm smelling a victory in 2008, but there
is still a lot of stink to be flung. TheyÕll try to turn Obama into Osama, and
Hillary into the Wicked Witch of the West. I hope the American public doesnÕt
fall for it this time around.