LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

 

Dangerous T-shirts

 

— Bumper sticker of the week: You canÕt have everything. Where would you put it?

— Quote of the week: ÒReligion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.Ó Karl Marx

— Positive peeverisms: It appears we have a new downtown development plan. Who the heck did we hire for that job? Interesting execution. Fires do attract big crowds.

— Dangerous T-shirts: The secret army in charge of protecting the President kicked out two females for wearing T-shirts to the State of the Union address. One, Cindy Sheehan, mother of a soldier killed in Iraq, turned anti-war activist, read, Ò2,245 Dead. How many more?Ó The other, the wife of a congressman, read, ÒSupport the troops defending our freedom.Ó Both, I understand, were wearing braÕs, so IÕm assuming it was the T-shirts that were offensive, not what was underneath them. Anyway, here are some other dangerous T-shirts that I have spotted lurking about:

¥  51% is not a mandate.

¥  Bush lied — Soldiers died.

¥  Four moron years.

¥  Incompetence kills, at home and abroad.

¥  Hurricane Bush — The Real Disaster.

¥  GOD is not spelled GOP.

¥  Military intelligence — another faith based initiative.

¥  Fixed Iraq, now IÕll fix New Orleans.

¥  Paranoia is patriotic.

     ¥ Wargasm

¥  Will Kill For Oil.

All I can say is donÕt get caught wearing any of these at any of BushÕs shindigs. The King donÕt like it.

— When men stopped wearing real hats:

¥  ToupeeÕs and fedoraÕs donÕt go together. ItÕs one or the other. A head can only hold so

much.

¥  The 60Õs didnÕt help. Long hair and fedoraÕs donÕt mix.

¥  The baseball cap pretty much replaced the fedora. With Velcro, a baseball cap can be

adjusted to fit an expanding head.

¥  FedoraÕs were always the choice of gangsters or politicians, often one and the same.

Nowadays, you donÕt need a fedora to identify either one. Just look at the size of their wallets.

¥  FedoraÕs were good for keeping the rain out of your eyes. Then some damn fool invented

the umbrella.

¥          As you can see from my caricature, The Peever still sports a fedora. While most men no longer have the character, charm, or looks for a fedora, The Peever has it all.

— Super Bowl 40: Average game. The refereeing was once again suspect. The music was drowned out by the crowd and censored by the network. And the commercials stunk. If I were Budweiser, IÕd be dong some firing. ItÕs not a good idea to put violence in the same commercial with beer. ItÕs way too realistic, and I donÕt think realism is their major intent. I would have to give the commercial Oscar to Ameriquest. Most the others were just plain stupid. I think IÕm going into the commercial business. ThereÕs no doubt in my mind I can think up things as stupid, if not stupider, than most of the commercials I saw this year. None encouraged me to run out and buy their product. In fact, most often you donÕt even know what it is theyÕre selling. It occurs to me that used to be the goal, to sell something. I guess that changed, like so many other things, while I was napping.

— Bush proposes another ball-busting budget for the poor: LetÕs get rid of some of the deficit by further cutting education, programs to help the poor, farm subsidies, while continuing to give tax relief to the rich. Once again, Bush puts it on 9/11. Another 7% for defense, and 8% for Homeland Security. And in our spare time, letÕs hammer Medicare. That money can better be used by his rich contractor friends rebuilding Iraq. When this guy gets you down, heÕs going to kick the ever-living shit out of you. It will be nice to see the day when people say, enough is enough. IÕm giving two-to-one odds that day will never come. Too many yuppies and not near enough balls.