­­ Bumper sticker of the week: Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.

­­ Quote of the week: ''First there was Jesus; then there was bingo. Moses brought the law to his people; then his people filed a brief with the court. We start with the shiny apple, then peel it and cut it and cook it and mash it. On the alter, we place a jar of applesauce.'' -- Sy Safransky

­­ The rest of the story:--

The Civic Center Authority ''borrows'' money from The Orpheum's capital fund to pay current bills. I like this explanation of ''borrow'' from Bob Maus, CCA board member. ''We didn't take any money from the capital fund, we borrowed the money.'' The lady who took some money from Miller-Dredge Insurance should use that same line of defense. ''I didn't take the money, I borrowed it.''--

Laws. We have all sorts of them. Some of them are pretty peculiar. Take for instance drug use. We call the use of drugs a disease on the one hand, and punish people for using them on the other. Our prisons are full of people who were using illegal drugs, not necessarily selling them. They're locked up for having a disease. Good idea or a clear indication that we all might be a bit confused?--

The National Missile Defense (Star Wars) program is making a comeback. Get ready to hand over billions of taxpayer dollars to President George's corporate buddies. The Center For Security Policy is responsible for keeping this Reagan nightmare alive. Funded by right-wing military hawks Richard Melton Scaife and Joseph Coors, the Center's poster boy is Donald Rumsfeld. They have been busily brewing up a weird brand of paranoia that has nations like Iraq and North Korea blowing us into oblivion. To defend ourselves from said paranoia, we need to build a $245 billion dollar shield over the U.S. The damn thing has been guaranteed not to work by about any scientist who doesn't work for Boeing, Lockheed, Raytheon, and TRW, the four largest defense contractors in the world. Still, why take any chances? Cuba might team up with some rogue state like Texas, threatening forever our peaceful existence.--

Downsizing. Let's see if we can sum up this masterful piece of capitalist bull. The CEO fires hundreds of employees, successfully lowering expenses, making the stockholders happy, leaving the remaining employees doing twice the work, and they call said individual brilliant and pay him millions of dollars for his innovation and creativity. Frankly, the son-of-a-bitch should be put in jail.--

Tax cuts for the rich and famous. It's called the old bait and switch theory. The government gives us money back, most of it going to the already rich, and then claim they have no money for helping the poor. W. George did just that in Texas. It worked so well, he's decided to try it again, this time on a much grander scale. His rich buddies are grinning from ear to ear. It's that same grin you see on the President, similar to a face you would paint on a robot.

­­ I offered a bumper sticker the other week that suggested you could buy a congressman. Someone asked me how much I thought it would cost? I'm betting at least ten bucks.

­­ My wife and I recently celebrated thirty years of marriage. I've been reading how various right wing ideologists would like to toughen up the divorce laws, hoping people won't bother divorcing and will continue to live in misery. This is the usual level of stupidity they arrive at, wanting us to all fit into their neat little biblical passages. Unfortunately, it wouldn't work. Trying to legislate morality is a nice pastime for these right-wing politicos but something that has time and time again proven to be hopelessly insane. In reality, there are actually few secrets to longevity in marriage: work at it, tough it out, and don't allow your spouse to buy a convertible or sports car.

­­ Some election predictions:--

Mayor: Bob Sheehan. Let's hope he picks up the pace. This one could be a yawner.--

City Treasurer: Tom Wilson. Galesburgians don't like change. And no one can figure out what the city treasurer does anyway.--

Alderman: Who cares.--

Cable referendum: fail. People still think they will end up paying for it.--

Nursing Home referendum: pass. People love old folks.--

Percent of voters: 27

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online March 14, 2001

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