Leave It To Peever

­­ Bumper sticker of the week: The face is familiar, but I can't quite remember my name.

­­ Quote of the week: ''Downsized. Rightsized. Destaffed. Degrown. Dehired. Involuntarily separated. Personnel surplus reduction. Transitioned. Resource reallocation. A save. Displaced. Dislocated. Disemployed. Redundancy elimination. Workforce imbalance correction. Fired.'' -- Downsize This! Michael Moore

­­ Some things, that after 54 years of life, just don't seem to add up:--

Heaven. I was told long ago you die, you go up to heaven. Now we have the Hubble telescope orbiting around earth, taking pictures of the beyond. Have we seen any ghosts floating around? No. Nothing. Only, guess what, more space. I almost die myself, and where do I end up -- at a carnival. As far as heaven being up there, somewhere, I don't buy it.--

Santa Claus. Some guy flying around in the sky, with reindeer and a sleigh, delivering toys and such to everyone, everywhere, in one night. Yea, sure. At face value, not even a three year old kid would fall for this. But who backs it up, 100%? Your parents. In fact, all the grown-ups, everywhere. So you figure, hey, great, its got to be true. Then one day you discover every adult in your life has been lying to you. So what do you do? You tell the same lie to your kids.--

The Easter Bunny. Another wise Christian tale. Who ever thought up a bunny rabbit jumping around the back yard laying eggs? Probably a Jew or a Muslim. And how come they're painted and have your name on some of them? This was a lame idea from the very beginning. And kids hate hard-boiled eggs anyway.--

Hell. What's with a guy with a long tail and a pitch fork? Number one: Why should it be a guy? And, number two: Why not a gun instead of a pitch fork? I guess this is meant to scare us into behaving. I suppose maybe it worked on the cavemen, but today, I'm more scared of the government than I am the devil. They got a whole lot more fire-power. For that matter, so does my neighbor. The devil's not much of a deterrent anymore.--

Capitalism. We equate capitalism with democracy. I think this happened so that Big Business could steal from us and still sleep at night. Capitalism is mainly a joke, on us, the working people. We work, they play, all the while making us think that is how life is meant to be. This is a crock of crap.

­­ It was just a matter of time before the nuts in Washington started talking about using nuclear weapons. When should we be allowed to us them? Under what conditions? Colin Powell wants it understood that if someone is threatening us, we need a good understanding about when and how it is we should be able to blow them into oblivion. If any of these folks were sane, they should be talking about getting rid of all nuclear weapons, rather than when would be most appropriate to use them. I'll give them a little help: It's never appropriate. We all lose! These right-winged Christian warriors are going to get us all killed, just wait and see.

­­ Women are funny creatures. They have us (males) outnumbered 51%-49%, (apparently it is about to go to 52%-48%), but they continue to allow us to run the show. This is odd, to say the least. Usually a majority stomps on the minority, but this has not happened. No woman President, or Vice-President, five governors, some congresswomen and senators, and pitifully few females at the head of major corporations. Bumbling, blood-thirsty males continue to run the military. There are practically no exceptions, short of numerous PTA's. Why is this? Are women more benevolent? Easily duped? So compassionate that they want to be subservient to men forever? I don't know what the answer is. Maybe they're just dumber than a box of rocks? But I shouldn't really say that. Maybe some day they'll realize they are in control. They're the majority. Until that day, how about some supper?

­­ John Ashcroft, U.S. Attorney General, is recommending that neighborhood watch programs help keep an eye on minorities and other odd looking and suspicious people wondering around in the neighborhood. I suppose I can see his point. In white, gated communities, there shouldn't be any Muslims or African-Americans milling around on the streets. So I suppose in a Hispanic neighborhood, a white guy stumbling around should be reported. Hey, this is going to be fun. Mr. Peever, I heard you were arrested? Yes, I was in the wrong neighborhood. I lost track of how many right-winged Christian soldiers were living down the block. I'm sorry, it won't happen again.

­­ The next thing we'll be hearing about is a draft. Our leaders seem intent on blowing up the world. They're going to need our young men and women to help them. Parents, get prepared to send your sons and daughters into this spirited fight to get cheap oil. Once again, oil is going to consume our children's lives.

Uploaded to The Zephyr website March 19, 2002

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