LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Point–Counterpoint

— Bumper sticker of the week: Why is it every time we’re lost, I’m driving?

— Quotes of the week: “There have been 5600 years of written history and 14,600 wars have been recorded.” James Hillman

“Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war, but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac.” George Orwell

— Movie of the week: For sheer pleasure, go see “Wild Hogs.” No great acting. No engaging story line. Actually, no redeeming qualities of any kind. Just straight-up fun. I’m assuming it’s popularity is based on that fact, that all it intends on doing is make us laugh. At this time in our history, we could us a good laugh.

— GREDA should have hired me as their marketing director. I could have saved them a ton of money. If all they want is someone to tell the public what they do, I’m figuring I could do that in about 8 hours per year. Figuring I charge them $100 per hour, that’s $800. I’m betting that would be a big savings for them. They could use that extra money to make another pamphlet lying to us about how successful they’ve been.

— A lot of places want to charge top dollar for second rate goods and services. I don’t mind paying a decent price for good food, or reliable, dependable service, so long as that’s what I get in return. But I don’t appreciate paying a high price for poor products and service. And it seems that’s what I’m getting more and more of. That drives me crazy. Maybe when I blow I can claim “poor service, food and product” insanity.

— Speaking of poor service: With the recent freezing rain, we ended up with a fairly large branch hanging over the power line leading to our home and the neighbor’s home. AmerenlP said they couldn’t take it down because the tree is on my property, and not on the terrace. So I asked why they trimmed it last summer. It was on my property than too. They hadn’t asked my permission. Apparently it was alright for them to mangle it. He didn’t seem to have an answer. They never do.

— Point–Counterpoint:

• Point: God created all men equal.

Counterpoint: Obviously, you haven’t spent much time in the men’s locker room.

• Point: It is good to know the truth.

Counterpoint: But it’s not always good to tell it.

• Point: We need more politicians.

Counterpoint: For what?

• Point: Death is a natural part of life.

Counterpoint: Have you ever seen a dead person do the polka?

• Point: President Bush would not be considered one of our more intelligent Presidents.

Counterpoint: No shit.

• Point: The object of the game is to win.

Counterpoint: The object of the game is to learn how to lose without falling apart.

• Point: It is far better to give than to receive.

Counterpoint: I’m not falling for that.

• Point: People on death row are sometimes innocent.

Counterpoint: You got to figure, they were sent there by people too dumb to get out of jury duty.

• Point: The Iraq War is about democracy and freedom.

Counterpoint: Yeah. And Howdy Dowdy was a real person.