The Village Idiot(s)

– Bumper sticker of the week: Some people just don’t know how to drive....I call these people "everybody but me."

– Quote of the week: Sex education. Why is it adults are so uptight about sex education? I figure it’s because we’re worried our kids are doing exactly what we were doing when we were their age. The Peever

– NAFTA: NAFTA represents the bringing together of three countries to form one huge imperialist corporation. Hidden in the NAFTA legislation was a way for corporations to protect themselves from government policies that might attempt to limit their powers and future profits. Secret tribunals of experts, many corporate attorneys, now convene to protect the companies’ rights. NAFTA niftily excludes protections for workers and the environment. Thus, NAFTA becomes a model for America’s governance of the continental, if not global, economy. NAFTA has to be repealed. If the politicians don’t repeal it, the citizens of Canada, Mexico, and the United States will need to join hands to do so. The "ordinary" citizen will not be served until NAFTA’s continental economy is replaced by a more compassionate, regionalized economy based on participatory democratic principles, which at the least, requires a majority of us to approve.

– Some of the things I like about Galesburg:

• We still get mail delivered here.

• We have cable service.

• The likelihood of being killed by a terrorist is relatively low.

• We have a really nice airport, without much airport traffic, making it unlikely a plane will crash into your home.

• We have a nice city hall, where hardly anything ever happens.

• What a jail. I’m almost tempted to commit a crime.

• I like the old, historic homes. They make great quadruplexes.

• The crime rate is relatively low. Of course, there are fewer and fewer people to commit


• The people are really friendly. Most generally everyone will say, "Hello, how are you?"

However, a much smaller percentage hang around for the answer.

• We haven’t had a tsunami for years. Or an outbreak of cholera.

– In pursuit of the Village Idiot:

• I heard a couple talking about how great Bush is and that they’re going to vote for him again. They qualify.

• When you ask people who is in charge of Galesburg, no one can give you an answer.

Whoever it is, that person qualifies.

• Whoever continues to believe Galesburg can land a big manufacturing company, they qualify.

• I heard someone say we could use a few more ministers. You qualify.

• Whoever keeps knocking down our old buildings and putting up new things to make the downtown look old, you qualify.

• If you think you are safer now than you were before 9/11, you qualify.

• If you think Republicans care about the down and out, you qualify.

• If you think corporate CEO’s are going to cut employees any slack at all, you qualify.

• Every village seems to have an idiot. We seem overly blessed.

– Answering the E-mail:

Question: You seem to be the liberal answer to Rush Limbaugh. Max

Answer: Dear Max. Thanks. Remember, I’m an entertainer, not a reporter. I can say anything I please. I’m not responsible. It’s a heavy load, as you can imagine. Sometimes my back really starts to hurt. You don’t happen to have any pain pills, do you?

Question: You really seem to dislike President Bush. Shouldn’t you show some respect? Louie

Answer: Dear Louie: No.