Leave It To Peever

­­ In the scheme of things, why compromise with someone when you can shoot them?

­­ White is the only color recognized by God.

­­ Of all the evilness on earth, none is worse than a liberal. Compassion, diversity, forgiveness, charity, humanism. These things have no place among God-fearing people.

­­ Capital punishment should be observed before every Friday night high school football game across America. You talk about a deterrent. A hanging on the goal post. Maybe a little cheer: Ra, Ra, Re, kick him in the knee. Ra, Ra, Ras, hang the sucker.

­­ Something is wrong with these homosexuals. You didn't see Jesus running around with other men. Well, maybe a few. But he really liked that Mary Magdalene chick.

­­ Women want to be seen as equal to men. The day they can win a distance peeing contest is the day I'm willing to admit defeat. Until than, we've got something on them.

­­ I don't understand what the big thing is about forests and trees. Does a tree have any rights in the constitution? I look at a tree and all I see is toilet paper.

­­ Everyone should speak English, particularly if they want to live in this country. No speakie English, adios.

­­ They should allow the Ten Commandments to hang everywhere, including around the necks of foreigners.

­­ You don't believe in Christ, you might as well shoot yourself. You ain't going to heaven anyway.

­­ Guns. Everyone wants our guns. I have a constitutional right to have as many guns as I want. After all, you never know when the neighbors are going to turn on you.

­­ All I want for Christmas is for minorities to go away.

­­ Health care for everyone. What a joke. Didn't you ever hear of survival of the fittest?

­­ They want to keep raising minimum wage. Pretty soon there won't be any poor people to exploit. How do they expect a businessman to make any money? We keep giving more to the workers, pretty soon there won't be an upper class. Then what?

­­ Every town ought to have a jail for kids who won't listen to their parents, for foreigners, degenerates, non-Christians, and politicians who have been in office more than 30 days. And one for women who make their husbands do chores.

­­ Everyone should be treated equal. Who ever came up with that nonsense?

­­ They ought to change the legal age to five. These damn evil kids do stuff, and right away they want to get off because they're young.

­­ Any politician caught talking ought to lose their taxpayer supported pension, or their lives, whichever is worth more.

­­ Given the magnitude of the problem, what difference does it possibly make if you run over a few older people?

­­ All drugs should be legalized. Look how successful alcohol and tobacco have been.

­­ Twinkle, twinkle little star,/ How I wonder what I are./ I am white, not black or brown,/ So God must love me.

­­ They say a fool is born every minute. How can you argue with that? Happy April Fool's Day. The Peever.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online March 28, 2000

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