Thinking outside the circle

– Bumper sticker of the week: Bush lies. Freedom fries.

– Quote of the week: "The nation needed thoughtful leadership to deal with the underlying problems September 11 reflected: a radical deviant Islamist ideology on the rise, real security vulnerabilities in the highly integrated global civilization. Instead, America got unthinking reactions, ham-handed responses, and a rejection of analysis in favor of received wisdom. It has left us less secure. We will pay the price for a long time." Against All Enemies, Richard Clark

– Gene mutation linked to Democratic senator campaigning for Bush: In a rare twist of fate, the genes of a jackass and an elephant seem to have mutated, producing Georgia Senator Zell Miller, a Democrat who backs Bush and his tax cuts for the wealthy. The Democratic National Committee should throw him out of the party. Let him get into the Republican gene pool, although it doesn’t appear they need a whole lot more jackasses either.

– Rice ain’t nice: You can see lies in her eyes. What once promised to be a brilliant career has turned sour. She unfortunately chose the wrong path, the one leading to Bush and his henchmen. She has become the laughing stock of the nation. As one could have figured, the white boys hung her out to dry.

– 31 accomplishments of the Bush administration, 5 per week:

1. Won an election by losing by 500,000 votes. There was trouble in a state run by his brother. How ironic!

2. Immediately upon taking office, reversed dramatic improvements scheduled to take effect for clean air and water.

3. Replaced a budget surplus with the biggest budget debt in the history of the United States. Blames 9/11 and the Iraq war, when in fact the biggest culprit is his tax breaks for his rich buddies.

4. Signed a tax cut in 2003 that averaged a cut of $93,500 for millionaires, and $217 per household for the middle class. 36% of households got no cut.

5. Used funds earmarked for health care for the uninsured, like Medicaid, to pay for the tax cuts for the rich.

– Rumsfeld defends 9/11 blunders by stating, "The world isn’t the same." I couldn’t agree more. With himself, Bush, Cheney, Powell, Rice, and Ashcroft at the helm, it’s a whole lot different.

– The Cash Store: Let me see if I got this right: I can get a loan at The Cash Store if I have a job and a checking account. Hell, if I had a job and a checking account, I wouldn’t need a loan. I’m not sure if I’m seeing this right. The illustration they use has the loan at over 500% interest. That must be a misprint.

– Thinking outside the circle:

• Galesburg needs a full-time mayor and a part-time manager. No one’s in charge, not even at the meetings.

• We need to capitalize on all the elderly we have. Maybe a huge bingo parlor.

• Two hospitals competing with one another in Galesburg is a death trap. Neither can make it.

• How about we start charging businesses to come here? Giving them everything obviously

hasn’t worked.

• I still think a church that serves beer and brats could be big.

• We should charge a flat 15% fee on meth labs.

• I joke around about public executions, but I think they’d draw huge crowds. Our tourism rates would skyrocket. They wouldn’t have to use fictitious numbers anymore.

• We don’t capitalize on Sandburg’s name much. Instead of Railroad Days we should have Socialist Days.

• How about some alleys so we can run our power lines down them and a place to put out our

trash, rather than on our front lawns. I forgot, we did away with those.

• I think we should call Galesburg Bloomington. Maybe people and businesses will get confused and come here?