­­ Bumper sticker of the week: Politicians and diapers need to be changed, often for the same reason.

­­ ''When you express gentleness and precision in your environment, then real brilliance and power can descend onto that situation. If you try to manufacture that presence out of your own ego, it will never happen. You cannot own the power and the magic of this world. It is always available, but it does not belong to anyone.'' The Sacred Path of the Warrior, Chogyam Trungpa

­­ The Art of Zen Counseling:

-- Normal means never having to say, ''I shot him.''--

At the heart of all listening lurks the payment.--

Helping others is a noble profession. On the other hand, so is emptying septic tanks.--

If you're hearing things you don't believe, chances are you're talking too much.--

It is good to tell the truth, so long as you don't believe it.--

Having to seek help from another is nothing to be ashamed of. After all, four out of five persons suffer from some type of problem that they need help with. The fifth is a psychiatrist, offering that help for a mere $150 an hour.

­­ Here's the thing: If I wanted someone to think for me, I'd have become a conservative. Being a liberal,I don't have to worry about thinking at all.

­­ I'm heading up a ''stop eating fast-food'' campaign. This is not something I have been forced to do, but is something I have been called to do. No more 2 for $2 Whoppers, no more Big Macs. Super-sizing is out, stop the Taco Supremes, the Wendy's Deluxe. It's over. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in through your nose, exhale out through your mouth, and repeat after me: I will never eat fast food again, no matter how cute their commercials might be, or what kind of toys they are selling. I will do this not only for me, but for my children, their children, and all the people in Florida who have obviously lost their minds, due to, you guessed it, eating too much fast-food. Help me put an end to Ronald McDonald Land, run over that ugly, Taco slurping Chiquawa, and send Dave Thomas packing to a nursing home. Rise up and let your voices be heard. No more fast-food. No more fast-food. Now, being fast-food free, you'll need some vitamins and protein packed power drinks. Have I got a deal for you. For only $29.95....

­­ The war on drugs is over. Now comes the hard part, telling the government we lost.

­­ Metaphorically speaking:--

The only similarity between George Bush and a burning bush is their level of intelligence.--

Seeing has nothing to do with looking.--

It is far better to listen to silence than it is to talk to a politician.--

Money cannot buy you happiness. Nor, for that matter, can Prozac.--

By letting yourself be, you might eventually forgive yourself for being a human.--

If man were left to his own devices, there would only be woman.

­­ Another Easter goes by and I still haven't seen the Easter Bunny.

­­ The wisdom of the military establishment:--

If it cost a lot, it must work.--

''Give us back our spy plane'' Yea, sure.--

Our guns must always be bigger than theirs.--

The more fearful the public becomes, the more likely it is the military will prosper.--

We need the brave, the proud, the foolish young.--

The commander-in-chief and generals stay hidden in bunkers in times of war. Other times, you can find them at dinner.--

Twenty and out. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Taxpayer.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online April 24, 2001

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