LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Things

— Bumper sticker of the week: When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.

— Quote of the week (Arbor Day tomorrow): “The best time to plant a tree was 200 years ago. The second best time is now.” Chinese proverb

“Half-trees are for halfwits.” The Peever

— The conservative group Landmark Legal Foundation has proposed Rush Limbaugh for the Nobel Peace Prize. That’s a good one.

— Some really weird things:

• Dick Cheney shoots an attorney in the face.

• Sexual predator and congressman Mark Foley is on the committee to protect children from sexual predators.

• The flag burning amendment came up again this year. Once again it went up in smoke. Don’t these guys have enough to do?

• A wall to keep out illegal immigrants. Chances are fairly good they’ll use illegal immigrants to build it.

• How can you vote to start a war one day and the next say, Oops, I made a mistake?

— Number of days U.S. troops fought in World War II: 1,347. Number of days troops have fought in Iraq, as of April 15th: 1484.

— Some really stupid things:

• Piercings, pennies, and political conventions.

• Dancing With The Stars, American Idol, and talk radio.

• Fat free, sugar free ice cream, non-alcoholic beer, and holes in donuts.

• Lawyers, meteorologists, and proctologists.

• Brussels sprouts, liver, and limburger cheese.

• Push-up bras, thong underwear, and high heeled shoes.

• Gambling, gossiping, and electronic gadgets.

— The benefits of hanging around with older people:

• It makes you feel younger.

• They all look alike.

• Sex is always an issue, even when it ain’t.

• Older and wiser don’t necessarily mix.

• I like people who go to bed early, wake up early, and take naps in-between.

• If I had my choice of sitting with old people or young people, there’s no contest. I’d stay at home.

— The Galesburg City Council election was an interesting cleansing. Let’s hope it was for the better.

— Galesburg losing shoppers: There’s an interesting observation. Number 1: There’s nothing to shop for in Galesburg. Number 2: Our sales tax is not an incentive to shop here. The new city manager is making a quick error. Let’s hire someone. To do what? Here’s my suggestion: Don’t give GREDA any more money, put the money saved in the bank, draw interest, and consider yourself ahead of the game. In the meantime, pick someone out at city hall, where we already have way too many administrators, to be an economic development director. That job should take up about one hour of their time per week. Remember, progress doesn’t come with spending money, it comes with using your head.