­­ Bumper sticker of the week: Don't take life so serious. It's not permanent.

­­Quote of the week: ''If there are no enchanting streets down which to stroll, then it's time to call in the therapists of the town to take a look. Ordinarily we think our task is to fix what is broken, but the soul asks for a different kind of attention, because its role is not to 'work' but to enchant. If something in a town isn't working, but the place does have enchantment, then the brokenness is not so serious and may not even need attention. An enchanting house may not have running water, an enchanting city may not have an efficient bus system, and an enchanting person may be out of work or lying in a hospital bed. Good functioning is not the primary value in a soulful life.'' The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life, Thomas Moore

­­ Some new cereals that didn't make it:--

Meaties:The breakfast of carnivores.--

Christian Flakes: For right-wing Christian soldiers.--

Drearios: I'm happy when I'm sad.--

Rice Crispy Critters: A surprise in every bite.--

Sugared Smack: Sweet and packed with a punch.

­­ Ways to know if your drinking too much:--

You can't tell if you're a male or a female.--

Nothing seems to bother you, including peeing in your pants.--

You can't remember what day it is. For that matter, you can't remember what planet you're on.--

Thinking has become an after-thought.--

All the baloney your hear at the tavern is beginning to make sense.

­­Smoking cigarettes is the worst thing you can do for yourself, short of getting the FBI mad at you.

­­ Signs you don't have a very good doctor:--

No one else is in the waiting room.--

The doctor is on time for your appointment.--

The diploma on the wall is in a language you don't recognize.--

He or she looks way too young to have gone to medical school, or way too old to remember what they learned.--

When asked a question, the doctor refers you to the Internet.

­­Things to do if you're forced to go to the symphony:--

Eat a lot of beans.--

Tell the person at the door you love guns and hate homosexuals.--

Wear jeans and a t-shirt that reads, ''I love blowing up violins.''--

Whistle along with the songs. This will be hard because I realize they don't have much of a


Take a pillow.

­­ I don't resent any person's beliefs, so long as they're similar to mine.

­­Did you see those DC cops handle those protesters last week? You talk about making it clear who's in charge. Police sprayed the demonstrators with pepper mace, tear gas and tried to knock some sense into them with billy clubs. The protesters believe the World Bank and International Monetary Fund serve the interests of rich countries at the expense of the poorest people in the world, which is pretty obvious. Up to the moment that the cops went goofy, the demonstrations were, by report, non-violent. Seems the boys just don't like anyone interfering with their plans to make big money. People had better start taking notice. We need to get off our butts and hit the streets for the demonstration of our choice. To produce justice and social change, it always takes commitment, action, and unfortunately, most often your blood and a trip to jail.

­­McCain comes to town to support Baker. What a joke. He's tarnishing his reputation as someone who supposedly has some sense. Baker is a pathetic mouthpiece for the Gingrichs of the world. In three attempts at unseating Lane Evans, he has never once voiced an original idea. He's all slogans and political jargon. Washington needs creative , outspoken leaders, not tape recorded versions of the same old nonsense.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online April 25, 2000

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