– Bumper sticker of the week: Mad cowboy disease.

– Quote of the week: "Those who cast votes decide nothing. Those who count votes decide everything." Joseph Stalin

"Ninety-eight percent of adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we do elect them." Lily Tomlin

– WMD’s: Weapons of Medicare Destruction. AARP has failed senior citizens. They endorsed the President’s attempt to begin privatizing Medicare and open the door for pharmaceutical companies to make billions more on top of the billions they already make off seniors. The last count I saw, some 75,000 seniors have dropped their membership, one of which includes me. The CEO of AARP should be thrown out. Maybe he can get a job with the Bush administration. This reform is nothing less than the beginning of the end of Medicare:

1. The Bush administration deliberately didn’t tell Congress the true cost of the reform.

2. House Republican leaders abused House rules to push the measure through. Threats and bribes are now under investigation.

3. The Bush administration is spending millions of our tax dollars on TV commercials touting the reform as the greatest thing since false teeth.

4. AARP is spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on TV ads attempting to justify their stupidity.

5. The numerous plans, said to be around 23, will create massive confusion among old people.

6. Polls show a majority of seniors don’t like the reforms. Dump AARP and Bush, not necessarily in that order.

– Ways to improve your sex life:

• Buy an inflatable doll. Male or female, it’s your choice. And they come in all colors.

• Help with the housework every now and then.

• Write your name on a bathroom wall. Male or female, it’s your choice.

• Put the stool lid down.

• Lie about why you have that condom in your billfold. It was just for you, honey.

• Pay for a pro.

– Continuing accomplishments of the Bush administration:

6. Implemented changes to the Fair Labor Standards Act that will deny overtime pay to approximately 80 million workers, of whom many are veterans.

7. Opposed equal opportunities for girls, women, and people of color by rewriting Title IX and attempting to end affirmative action.

8. Requested massive cuts in funding for vocational education and after—school programs in order to underwrite vouchers for private, most generally faith—based, schools.

9. Implemented "No Child Left Behind" that focuses on standard testing and downplays the arts and multi-cultural education. Is using it to take away funds from struggling public schools.

10. Supported cutting $25 billion in veterans’ benefits over the next 10 years; proposed $172 million in cuts from education programs for soldiers’ children; ordered the VA to stop publicizing health benefits that are available to veterans.

– Questions:

• Why would God only bless America?

• How is our killing the Shiites in Iraq any different than Saddam Hussein killing the Shiites in Iraq?

• Shouldn’t you win an election if you get the most votes?

• Is Justice Scalia for real or is he a reincarnation of Hitler?

• Is the Knox County Nursing Home going to bankrupt Knox County?

• Are neighborhood watch groups allowed to carry weapons?

• Why are non-profit organizations allowed to make a profit?

• When a bank repossesses a home, do they pay the property taxes?

• When the government re-implements the draft, will it include woman?

• If evolution is a farce, who keeps burying all those bones?

• In a dying town, why do real estate taxes keep going up?

• If God talks to Bush, why didn’t He tell him that Hussein didn’t have any weapons of mass destruction?

• Who edited the Bible, and why did they leave out so much?

• Kerry may raise taxes, but can Bush raise the dead?