LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

 

The ideas just keep on coming

 

– Bumper sticker of the week: 90% of politics is deciding who to blame.

– Quote of the week: "It is never too late to give up your prejudices." Henry David Thoreau

   "Nothing happens unless first a dream." Carl Sandburg

–Things to ponder over:

• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

• I spilled spot remover on my dog Spot. Oops.

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

• Where does one buy the stairway to heaven?

• Why is good tasting food always so bad for you?

• Why do they put Braille on drive-thru bank machines?

• Can you believe we eat something that comes out of the rear of a chicken?

• What do you call a male lady bug?

• Why is it the less a remote control works, the harder you press the buttons?

• There are 336 dimples on a golf ball, and usually one cart path mark.

– New economic lingo:

• CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer

• Value investing – buying low and selling lower.

• Broker – what we all are.

• Market correction – the day after you buy stocks.

• Profit – a word no longer in use.

• Capitalist – retired corporate executives living abroad.

• Retirement plan – keep working.

– Peever's Positivisms:

• We need a full-time mayor and a part-time manager.

• We need fewer rules and more common sense.

• The police need to get tougher on drugs.

• We need economic development based on quality of life issues. People will do business in town if it looks and feels good. Our educational system, particularly at the high school level, needs a revolution. How about appealing to people who can do their jobs from home? We have plenty of good priced homes for them. We need a good internet system. How about trying to appeal to musicians, arts, writers, candlestick makers?

• We have a huge senior citizen population that we hardly cater to. How about some dance clubs, bingo parlors with big pay-outs. Or a Saggies strip club?

• We should be able to capitalize on the cheap cost of living. We need to answer the question: Why do people not want to live here in spite of the cheap cost?

• Diversity is paramount to the growth of the community. Knox College and Carl Sandburg College need to be leaders in this area.

• We need a real Railroad Daze, fashioned after Burlington's Steamboat Daze.

• I would kick all the right-wingers out of town, but I suppose that wouldn't be very positive. Well, we'll see.

• We could use a local beer. Having been a substance abuse counselor, I probably shouldn't make such a suggestion, but a home-brewed beer can do wonders for a community.

• We are close enough to Chicago that we should be able to feed their businesses with hundreds of things, from home-baked goods to organic vegetables, to industrial items. The list is endless.

• We are in the heart of a golfing Mecca. If Soangetaha and Bracken opened up for public play, and the city added another 9 or 18, let the good times roll. Of course, we would sell our local beer.

There, you talk about positive. The ideas just keep on coming.