LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Somebody’s got to tell it

Bumper sticker of the week: Another proud member of the Christian left.

– Quote of the week: "Violet looked nervous, in her violet dress. She looked like an executive secretary of a grain cooperative in the Midwest. I looked like a session musician on a Three Dog Night album. She lost my ring, so we borrowed one from Jeffrey, my best man. It may be that, legally, I am now married to Jeffrey." Wedding Letter, Sparrow

– Stop wasting my tax dollars on war.

– Capitalism cannot work: If you produce goods and services simply for profit, and dismiss everything else as irrelevant, you will eventually become despicable, not only to everyone around you, but to yourself.

– Gambling is not going to take us where we want to go.

– I came across this list of Dubya’s accomplishments over the last 2 years:

• Attacked and took over two countries.

• Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

• First President in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

• Presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

• First President to ever run and hide when the U.S. came under attack. (As much as I know).

• Has taken more vacation time than any other President, ever. (This may in fact be good.)

• Has had the least amount of press conferences of any President since the advent of TV.

• Presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene.

• Set the record for the most campaign fund-raising trips of any President in U.S. history.

• Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

• Dissolved more international treaties than any other President in U.S. history.

• Members of his cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

• Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history, and in 2 years has turned every leading indicator down.

• First U.S. President in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view his presidency as a threat to world peace and stability.

• Created the largest governmental bureaucracy (Department of Homeland Security) in U.S. history.

• First U.S. President to establish a secret shadow government.

• Presumably, although I can hardly believe this, the first President to have a criminal record. Still, I think the right-wingers are right when they claim he’s a human.

– My entry for a new motto for Black’s Pontiac, Cadillac: Bush is a fool. We’ll throw in a pool.

– How to pick a good donut:

• Bigger is not necessarily better.

• Color is insignificant. It’s what’s inside that counts.

• Don’t get hung-up on round.

• If it’s the "right" donut, you better check for bugs.

• If all else fails, find a cop.

– Somebodies got to tell it:

• They miss the point when they keep remodeling downtown. It’s not how pretty you can make it. It’s the businesses, stupid. You put them all on the outskirts of town.

• If there were no city council in Galesburg, we would be far better off.

• The town continues to be run by a handful of good-old-boys, who seem to do pretty good for themselves. This must be where the term "hometown advantage" comes from.

• The streets in Galesburg are a total mess. Most township roads are better than our half—bricked streets.

• Whoever was responsible for doing away with alleys should be shot. Now we have all of the Illinois Power lines and telephone lines and cable lines right in front of our homes. And to make matters worse, we put our garbage out front. What an arrangement. Not even primitive societies do that. They have more dignity and pride.

• Enterprise Zones and Tax Increment Finance Districts are Chamber of Commerce inventions that should have been done away with ten years ago. They do nothing but cost the taxpayer additional dollars.