LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

 

Stupid is as stupid does. Or doesnÕt.

 

-Bumper sticker of the week: BushÕs Third Term: John McBush

 

-Quote of the week: ÒThe one universal ever-operating law throughout has been the law of change. Nature never stands still and never duplicates herself. Life is always in the process of becoming something else.Ó  Laurence Gould

 

-Probe lands on Mars: How can we do that? Land a spacecraft on a planet, at its closest, some 35 million miles away? Think of the technology, the detail, the intelligence that goes into being able to do that. Now tell me why we canÕt understand, what keeps us from figuring out, that killing one another in order to establish peace, or democracy, or good will, will not work? Surely we have the capacity to realize that bombing hospitals, schools, and blowing a country into oblivion will only make our enemies stronger and more determined to kill us. It shouldnÕt take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

 

-I like the explanation that bad things happen because God gave us Òfree will.Ó Why would He or She do that? If human beings are destine to destroy the Earth and all there on, if we are determined to kill one another over religion, or land, or for oil, and I were an all-powerful, all-knowing entity, I would say here, let me give you a hand. Why torture us with hope?

 

-Gas prices: We canÕt do a whole hell of a lot about high gas prices. We have to drive almost everywhere we go. ThatÕs how they have it set up. Nothing is close. No neighborhood grocery stores, to speak of. No neighborhood taverns. Wal-Mart never locates downtown. As for Galesburg, many people are traveling to the Quad Cites, or Peoria for their job. But we can boycott the two largest U.S. companies, ExxonMobil and Chevron. It could potentially hurt them, forcing them to lower prices. At the very least, it might help us feel better. BOYCOTT EXXONMOBIL AND CHEVRON.

 

-Some stupid things I have never done:

     * IÕve never peed on an electric fence.

     * IÕve never bought a boat.

     * IÕve never ridden one of those mechanical bulls.

     * IÕve never gone anywhere early or late because of the time change.

     * IÕve never ate more than one whole pie at a sitting.

     * IÕve never watched a soap opera.

     * IÕve never read the Enquirer, or other grocery store tabloids.

     * IÕve never bought a gun thinking it would make me safer.

     * IÕve never gone into a restaurant, ate, and walked out without paying. Knowingly.

     * One thing IÕm proud to say IÕve never done: IÕve never voted Republican.

 

-Some stupid things I have done:

     * I once peed over the edge of the Grand Canyon.

     * I once ate a dog treat by mistake. It looked like jerky.

     * I have run for public office.

     * A buddy and I went into a gay bar by mistake one time. Interesting.

     * I did pay a guy to do some work before he did it.

     * I have voted Democratic. To paraphrase Mark Twain, we shouldnÕt vote because that only encourages them.

     * Have you ever gone the wrong way and claimed it was a shortcut?

     * I did play a golf course backwards.

     * When youÕre stoved-up, you can take too many X-Lax.

     * One thing I do know for sure: Life is like a bottle of tequila. The more you drink, the stupider you get.