LEAVE IT TO PEEVER
Stupid is as stupid does. Or doesnÕt.
-Bumper
sticker of the week: BushÕs Third Term: John McBush
-Quote of
the week: ÒThe one universal ever-operating law throughout has been the law of
change. Nature never stands still and never duplicates herself. Life is always
in the process of becoming something else.Ó Laurence Gould
-Probe
lands on Mars: How can we do that? Land a spacecraft on a planet, at its
closest, some 35 million miles away? Think of the technology, the detail, the
intelligence that goes into being able to do that. Now tell me why we canÕt
understand, what keeps us from figuring out, that killing one another in order
to establish peace, or democracy, or good will, will not work? Surely we have
the capacity to realize that bombing hospitals, schools, and blowing a country
into oblivion will only make our enemies stronger and more determined to kill
us. It shouldnÕt take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
-I like the
explanation that bad things happen because God gave us Òfree will.Ó Why would
He or She do that? If human beings are destine to destroy the Earth and all
there on, if we are determined to kill one another over religion, or land, or
for oil, and I were an all-powerful, all-knowing entity, I would say here, let
me give you a hand. Why torture us with hope?
-Gas
prices: We canÕt do a whole hell of a lot about high gas prices. We have to
drive almost everywhere we go. ThatÕs how they have it set up. Nothing is
close. No neighborhood grocery stores, to speak of. No neighborhood taverns.
Wal-Mart never locates downtown. As for Galesburg, many people are traveling to
the Quad Cites, or Peoria for their job. But we can boycott the two largest
U.S. companies, ExxonMobil and Chevron. It could potentially hurt them, forcing
them to lower prices. At the very least, it might help us feel better. BOYCOTT
EXXONMOBIL AND CHEVRON.
-Some
stupid things I have never done:
* IÕve never peed on
an electric fence.
* IÕve never bought a
boat.
* IÕve never ridden
one of those mechanical bulls.
* IÕve never gone
anywhere early or late because of the time change.
* IÕve never ate more
than one whole pie at a sitting.
* IÕve never watched
a soap opera.
* IÕve never read the
Enquirer, or other grocery store tabloids.
* IÕve never bought a
gun thinking it would make me safer.
* IÕve never gone
into a restaurant, ate, and walked out without paying. Knowingly.
* One thing IÕm proud
to say IÕve never done: IÕve never voted Republican.
-Some stupid
things I have done:
* I once peed over
the edge of the Grand Canyon.
* I once ate a dog
treat by mistake. It looked like jerky.
* I have run for
public office.
* A buddy and I went
into a gay bar by mistake one time. Interesting.
* I did pay a guy to
do some work before he did it.
* I have voted
Democratic. To paraphrase Mark Twain, we shouldnÕt vote because that only
encourages them.
* Have you ever gone
the wrong way and claimed it was a shortcut?
* I did play a golf
course backwards.
* When youÕre
stoved-up, you can take too many X-Lax.
* One thing I do know
for sure: Life is like a bottle of tequila. The more you drink, the stupider
you get.