­­ Bumper sticker of the week: Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean I'm not out to get you.

­­ Quote of the week: ''If you knew Who walks beside you on the way that you have chosen, fear would be impossible.'' ‹ Wayne W. Dyer

­­ How old did you say I was again?

­­ Dead end occupations:--

repairing stereo turntables--

cleaning typewriters--

coaching the Cubs--

throwing midgets--

selling black and white TVs--

being President--

running the Knox County Nursing Home

­­ Let's rebuild Henderson Street and put it back just the way it is. It's so soothing and aesthetically pleasing. Seems this is the prevailing attitude of the City Council. Illinois Power once again waves its mighty finger at the Council and the folks fall right into line. The citizens of Galesburg should say no to such a foolish plan. Twenty-five years from now our children will look at that street and wonder where our heads were at. I hope I'm around to be able to tell them.

­­ I love to listen to all the white boys bitch and moan about Tiger Woods. Here's a young black kid just whooping the ever-loving hell out of a bunch of white guys at their own game and they just can't hardly stand it. Personally, I think it's great. I'd like to see him visit every country club in America and just hammer the best player each one could put up. Of course, that's assuming they would let him in. One after another, I'd like to see him whittle their little egos away. These jokers love it when he slips up in the slightest way. On national TV, we hear Tiger cuss on Number 18 at Pebble Beach. This is holy land as far as golfers are concerned. Here is a 24 year old kid who has become the most recognized athlete in the world, who cannot go anywhere without drawing a crowd, or say anything without a microphone sticking in his face, acting like a 24 year old kid. They ought to follow me some day. I'd teach them words they never heard of. Somehow we find room to criticize this young man who doesn't fit the image of what we feel the world's best golfer should look like, which definitely includes being a whiter shade of pale. That he might eventually become the greatest golfer of all time, beating out Jack Nicklaus, sends chills up and down the spines of these spineless wonders. If Tiger were white and playing the way he does, he would be considered a Golfing God.

­­ Gas prices are sky-high and no one can figure out why. It surely couldn't be that they're ripping us off, much like they have every summer since the beginning of time.

­­ The Supreme Court just says no to student prayers before football games in Texas. The school system was hoping to get away with having students pray before games by having them elected by the students, somehow feeling the democratic process of having an election would make the issue of ignoring the separation of church and state more tolerable to the justices. It was a good try, but the Court thought they were off sides. The best I can make of it, I think they were just plain off. Anyway, George W. is a cryin'. This was one of his pet projects. ''Pray before you play.'' He will condemn the Supreme Court, call them nasty liberal heathens, and come up with another cockamamie scheme to win over right-wing Christian voters.

­­ The ''welfare to work'' program should have been called ''the charity labor for business'' program. People who were on welfare were called charity cases. Now they're known as the working poor. Working forty hours a week for minimum wage, they are still unable to rise above the poverty line. Welcome to the great American Dream.

Uploaded to The Zephyr Online June 27, 2000

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