LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Weenie or Warrior?

— Bumper sticker of the week: Don’t believe everything you think.

— Quotes of the week: “I’m feeling like Tonto, riding a pinto, trying to chase the Lone Ranger down.”

“Save a horse, ride a cowboy.”

“'Cause I ain’t nowhere, if I can’t be somewhere with you. I’m just sitting her thinkin', sitting here drinkin' 'bout you.” Big and Rich

— Gonna live out loud: This ain’t the time to be sitting back holding your tongue. We are on the verge of becoming a right-wing, isolationist, fearful, dictatorial, theocratic, second world power. It is time to let our voices be heard. Now is the time to demand our individual rights, to put corporate America in its place, to demand our troops be returned home, to call for a government for us, not against us. It is time to change the playing field. The game has almost passed us by.

— Are you a weenie or a warrior?

• Do you let others do your thinking for you? Weenie.

• Do you stand up and say what is in your heart? Warrior.

• Do you kill from a distance? Weenie.

• Are you willing to make an effort to understand and compromise with your enemies? Warrior.

• Is you life guided by ideology and dogma? Weenie.

• Is your life guided by your bliss? Warrior.

• Do you strike out and despise those who are different from you? Weenie.

• Do you stay open-minded and tolerant of different ideas and lifestyles? Warrior.

• Do you allow others to control you through fear and intimidation? Weenie.

• Can you differentiate bullshit from fact? Warrior.

As the old saying goes: He that will be a weenie will eventually whine himself to death. The warrior will one day understand his place among all things, stand with his head held high, and be able to say, screw you, without any reservation.

— Disguises:

• The 4th of July comes as yet another disguise for freedom, justice, and democracy.

• I woke up this morning disguised as someone who gives a damn.

• A pretty woman uses a disguise to fool old age. A man usually uses a pretty woman.

• My golf game is disguised as an opportunity to rant and rave and cuss like some uncivilized barbarian.

• Freedom and justice are often disguised as a flag and a song.

• The rich disguise themselves as better and more capable than the rest of us.

• Many for-profit, money-monger charities disguise themselves as nonprofit, caring agencies.

• The truth disguises itself as absolute and attainable.

• I wore a disguise all day. No-one noticed.

— Speaking of drugs: There’s a new drug for every ailment nowadays. The pharmaceutical industry has become the wizard of the 2lst century. Here are a couple magic potions I would like to see:

• How about a drug to help our President become smarter?

• I’d like to see a drug that makes a rich man poor and a poor man rich?

• How about a drug that, instead of making men want to have sex, makes them want to have sense?

• A good anti-religion drug would be good.

• There’s a new drug to not make you pee so much. How about a new drug to not make you talk so much?

• Here’s a good idea: How about a drug to turn Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Roberts, our rightwing Supreme Court members, into liberals?

• People take drugs to make them feel better. Whatever happened to Cracker Jacks?