LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

-Bumper sticker of the week: Facts seldom change what someone wants to believe.

-Quotes of the week: “We’d all like to vote for the best man, but he’s never a candidate.” Frank Hubbard

“What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried against the new and untried?” Abraham Lincoln

-High speed trains: I don’t see a lot of high speed train tracks around, so I’m not quite sure why someone would want to make high speed rail cars? Most of the tracks we do have are antiquated and unsafe for Amtrak, much less high speed trains. Kemp’s proposal seems to be, in classic style, a lot of bull topped off with whipped cream and give away programs. He wants everything for nothing. I suppose you can’t blame him, that’s kind of the capitalist way. Two ingredients that help you spot a charlatan are they always want a lot of publicity and they want everything for nothing. Here’s the deal: If this enterprise ever comes to fruition, and Galesburg gets 330 jobs out of it, much less 3300, I’ll kiss this guys butt in public, should he be willing to bear it. I doubt either of us will ever have to suffer the embarrassment. Besides, I’ve kissed butt before. It’s not that big a deal.

-Sarah Palin resigns: Gee, that upsets me. The people of Alaska, all 200 of them, must be devastated. I’m assuming she finally came to her senses. Now we can only hope she tries to become the Republican presidential candidate for 2012. Wouldn’t that be something? Oh, happy days for the Democrats. I would suggest that Democrats donate millions of dollars to help make that nightmare come true. That would be an excellent strategy, guaranteeing Obama a second term and propelling Palin into political ruin, which she has probably already accomplished on her own.

-Things a guy doesn’t want to hear while having sex:

* How about we just cuddle?

* My, your feet are awful big.

* Are you done?

* This explains why you have a sports car.

* Don’t you need to get to work?

* I know 10 inches when I see it.

* Sorry I fell asleep.

* Sorry I started laughing. Now I know why they call you Shorty.

-A day in the life of a farmer:

* Up at the crack of dawn.

* Head for the café for breakfast. Bitch about the weather.

* Get home to say goodbye to the wife, who is headed to work. She has a real job.

* Check on the farm hand. Remind him to work hard, what with all that money you’re paying him.

* Listen to the morning grain reports.

* Have lunch at the café. Bitch about the grain prices and the government doing too much for the poor.

* Fix the lawnmower, so the wife can mow the lawn when she gets home.

* Take a nap.

* Remind the wife the lawn needs mowing while she’s fixing supper.

* Watch a little TV.

* Head for bed. It was a long day. Lord knows what tomorrow will bring.