LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

-Bumper sticker of the week: If Clinton deserved impeachment, Bush deserves imprisonment.

-Quote of the week: “Not to ask the tough questions is the height of lack of patriotism.” Dan Rather

-Some advice from the “Bucket List”, mainly for men: 1. Don’t pass by a john. 2. Don’t waste a hard on. 3. Don’t trust a fart.

-Speaking of Bucket Lists: We should all make one. After all, you never know about tomorrow. You just might kick the bucket:

1. I’d like to go to France. Paris, and a couple of small towns. I’d like to eat frog legs, have some truffles, and sip some fine wine, all the while trying to convince them that not every American is a right-wing, Christian, moron.

2. Cuba is a place I would like to spend about 3 months sitting on the beach listening to music, and talking to Castro and his brother Raul. I’d like to talk to them about pulling off that revolution, just in case I realize my third bucket wish.

3. I’d like to be involved with a non-violent revolution. Preferably kicking everyone out of Washington. While this would be somewhat risky, it sure would be fun.

4. I’d like to meet Jimmy Buffett and Dave Barry. They just seem like two guys who would be fun to meet. Buffett has been a huge success with a limited amount of talent, which I admire, and Barry writes some of the craziest things I have ever read, which is also an admirable trait.

5. I don’t see any reason to not start a soup kitchen. Three, four, five soups with homemade bread and rolls. If you can afford to pay for your meal, you do, if not, you don’t. Seems everyone is getting poorer every day. Welcome to BushWorld. We could call the soup kitchen, Bush’s Place.

6. I’d like to learn how to speak Spanish, although I hear tell Mexican is easier.

7. I’d like to teach at a community college. I’d be a good teacher. Maybe sex education.

8. I’d like to be a chef, but on a small scale. Maybe one meal per day, say one day per week. Maximum twenty people. If you’re interested, give me a call.

9. I don’t want to sky dive, or ride a mechanical bull, or drive a race car. I’d just as soon sit on the beach sipping a margarita, and write a number one best seller. No use dying doing something stupid.

10. Of all the things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket, I’d trade in all nine for one moment of ecstasy. Bliss. Becoming. Well, maybe all but number three.

-They paved paradise: What was once prime farmland is now a parking lot for Wal-Mart, a store peddling cheap Chinese crap. This is what the economic leaders of the city call progress. It’s what I call bull. And that ain’t the half of it. They ruined Seminary Street. It used to be one of my favorite pastimes counting cars while sitting on the front porch. Now I need a calculator. I could park my car on the street. No more. Now it’s a raceway for cars and ambulances. Growing organic vegetables on that land would have been, in the long run, a much wiser investment. And I could still back out of my driveway without endangering my life.

-The irrelevance of government: On the federal, state, county, and local levels, you could not think up a more stagnated, irrelevant group of elected officials. Elected is the key word. We’re to blame! We wonder why we’re in the shape we’re in. Look no further. We have elected the sorriest of the lot to lead us. The federal government is recklessly homicidal; the state government is actually the Chicago government; Knox county government is uselessly irrelevant; and the city of Galesburg government is archaic and clueless. Put them all together and you get what we got-trouble. We need to move forward in spite of government. They are all deeply mired in the muck. God, or for that matter, anything, help us.