LEAVE IT TO PEEVER
Call the Orkin man
Bumper sticker of the week: Whats the opposite of progress? Congress.
Quote of the week: "I believe theres something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, its the government." Woody Allen
Answering the E-mail:
Mr. Bruce: Why do you dislike the church? Rev. Doolittle
Dear Rev. Doolittle: Seems like an awful waste of money.
Dear Peever: Do you offer any proof that capitalism cannot work in a democracy? Mr. Greenback
Dear Mr. Greenback: Enron. WorldCom. Arthur Anderson.
Dear Mr. Peever: Just exactly how liberal are you? Rush
Dear Rush: Michael Moores got nothing on me. I consider Lane Evans a moderate Democrat. Does that help you any?
Dear Mr. Weik: Do you belong to the NRA? Chester
Dear Chester: Stupid question.
Dear Peever: Do you think pomography is evil? Christian
Dear Christian: People seem to like to show themselves off. Most of them shouldnt. If you dont like it, dont look.
Dear Bruce: What do you think about the war in Iraq? Colin
Dear Colin: Reminds me, I need to schedule a colonoscopy. What a pain in the ass. I pretty much think the same about the war.
Dear Mr. Weik: What do you think about universal healthcare? Do you think it will ever happen? Dr. Getrich
Dear Dr. Getrich: Yes. In the next ten years. Otherwise, theres going to be a revolt. This is Americas biggest disgrace, short of Congress.
Mr. Peever: Do you think joining the military is a good option for young people? Mr. Recruiter
Dear Mr. Recruiter: No. I have seen it do some good, but a good Job Corp could do the same. The poor, minorities, jobless, get recruited. You dont see many rich kids signing up. The poor and disenfranchised risk their lives so that the rich can get richer, from a safe distance.
Dear Bruce: What do you think about "Fahrenheit 9/11"? I assume you saw it? Connie
Dear Connie: You bet your bippy I saw it. I thought I was in heaven. There has never been such an indictment on a sitting President in U.S. history. Theres not a sentence in the movie that Bush and his cronies will be able to dispute. And you can bet your bottom dollar theyre looking pretty hard. I havent seen Wolfowitz or Cheney since the movie came out.
Dear Peever: What about those right-winged Christians you always are talking about? Arent they multiplying? Ken
Dear Ken: Call Orkin.
Dear Bruce: Martial law in Iraq. What do you think about that? George
Dear George: I think thats what Bush and his henchmen have in store for the world. To squelch dissent in Iraq, Bush is going to use: The Patriot Act. At least hes not treating the Iraqis any worse than hes treating us.
Dear Mr. Peever: What do you think about a gay marriage amendment? Mr. Righteous
Dear Mr. Righteous: These right-winged do-gooders dont mind killing anyone who gets between them and an oil well, but stand clear if a couple of the same sex want to have the same protections and rights under the law as heterosexual couples do. Its a bunch of foolish politicking by a bunch of foolish men. They should all be thrown out on their asses and forced to make a real living. Most of them would last about three days.