– Bumper sticker of the week: Fall seven times. Stand up eight.

– Quote of the week: "We must do what we conceive to be right and not bother our heads or burden our souls with whether we’ll be successful. Because if we don’t do the right thing, we’ll do the wrong thing, and we’ll be part of the disease and not part of the cure." E.F. Schumacher

– Going, going, gone: Real estate sales in Galesburg is about to take a nose dive. Who is currently moving into Galesburg? Over the last 30 years, no one. Everyone moving in, for the most part, is retired or can only get a minimum wage job, or the next thing to it. After a short spurt of sales to people moving up, we’re about to see tough times. First time buyers did get some help with a grant, and interest rates continue to be low, but it will still be very difficult for home buyers to manage escalating real estate taxes, high utility costs, and ever increasing homeowner insurance rates. My advice: Don’t worry. Things are going to get better in about 50 years or so.

– Cheap advice:

• Never try to shimmy up the leg of a woman holding a gun.

• Don’t invest in dime-stores.

• If you come across someone claiming to know "the truth," run.

• Keep it simple. Buy only what you need, or something I need.

• If you ever get a chance to travel, don’t go to Oquawka.

• Never jump off a ten story building if the wind is blowing over fifteen miles per hour.

• Life is meant to be lived, not hoarded.

• Don’t use drugs and expect not to pay.

• Don’t sit around and bitch. Stand up and be counted.

– SurgiCenter coming to Galesburg: On a hunch, The Peever is about to solve Cottage’s problem. NO ONE IS GOING TO BUY A HOSPITAL WITH A LARGE DEBT, IN A DYING TOWN, WHERE NO ONE HAS INSURANCE AND EVERYONE IS ON MEDICARE. Unless it would be to a large corporation’s tax advantage to bankrupt the place, I don’t see anyone, including OSF, being interested. In a town losing its industry and its population, one hospital is plenty, although OSF will need to expand St. Mary’s to accommodate additional patient services. Not bed space, but the lab, x-ray, and outpatient services. This is where the surgicenter comes in. They already have the plans, are trying to buy some additional property, and defiantly have the money. It is possible OSF could use some of Cottage’s facilities, at least on a temporary basis, until they build, but I don’t see another company being interested in taking OSF on. Now of course, I could be wrong about all of this, but I doubt it.

– BNSF keeps falling off the tracks: Hello remote control trains. This is the federal government. Please keep your trains on the track. You are dealing in hazardous products that are harmful to human beings. After 3—4 derailments, it is time to reevaluate your engineerless trains. Thank you for your cooperation, and here’s a little fine for incentive. Have a nice day.

– The Daze Inn: Another in a long line of city—backed economic disasters has resulted in yet another $500,000 lose. And this time, a short skirt wasn’t even involved. Chalk another one up for TIF districts. However, I still think we may be able to salvage this act of moronism. I think the citizens should take it over and make it a rest home for washed up public servants. I don’t think we’ll have any problems with occupancy.

– I like my fundamental Christian friends who worry about my morality and what’s going to happen to me when I die. They’re pretty sure I’m going to hell. Little do they know I already have had a glimpse of the afterlife. Wouldn’t you know it, a damn carnival. I suppose I deserve it. Anyway, thanks for your concern. I’m trying not to cuss, drink, or stare at women’s boobs. I’m doing pretty good with one and two, but summer makes number three really tough. Damn halter tops. (I guess I’m not doing all that well with number one either.)