LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Helping to advance the insidious liberal agenda

— Bumper sticker of the week: 4 out of 5 voices in my head say I’m right.

— Quotes of the week: “Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” Earl Mac Rauch

“No vacation goes unpunished.” Karl Hakkarainen

— The ups and downs of war:

• We encourage people to step forward to defend America, but we hate it when they get

killed.

• We love it when the President says we are the spreaders of freedom and righteousness, but

we hate it when we find out that’s not true.

• We get all patriotic when we go to war to rid the world of “weapons of mass destruction,”

but hate it when we can’t find any.

• We are impressed when we capture “terrorists” and jail them, but forget that every human

being has a right to be treated with respect and dignity. Even our enemies.

• We think that killing people will bring about peace, but in our hearts we know better.

• War does give the unemployed and poor some opportunities, but they can be rather short-

lived.

• War does help the economy. It takes from the poor and gives to the rich.

• When all is said and done, the war stories are mainly tales of sadness and woe, dressed up in patriotism and flags and memories that become skewed with time.

— The lesser of two evils:

• A prostitute on the street corner or a pretty little thing that steals someone’s husband?

• A bank robber or the CEO of a company who bankrupts the retirement fund?

• Bush or Cheney?

• A killer or the state appointed executioner?

• The enemy or the liberator?

• A lying President or a drug dealer?

• A right-wing, Christian, Supreme Court Justice or a lobotomy?

• Burning a prairie plot or selling it to Wal-Mart?

• A politician or a used car salesman?

• A crazed cowboy or a drunken Indian?

• Winning The Flub-A-Dub award or getting an enema?

— Rove and Bush will go down together. You just don’t fire your creator. If you think Rove will go, you better get another fantasy.

— Bolton appointed as ambassador to the UN: Bush couldn’t get his maniacal, anti-UN man through the Senate, so he appoints him during a recess of the Senate, which was a wrong and disappointing use of an emergency provision that allows a president to make appointments during recesses for “real emergencies.” The craziness of this President just never seems to end. Folks, we’ve entered The Twilight Zone.

— The definition of a politician: A flawed human being who pretends to know how to govern other flawed human beings.

— If it weren’t for right-wingers, I’d have no fun at all: Occasionally someone will tell me that I write too much about right-wingers. That I should have more compassion. Be more tolerant. I thought about it for a long time and have come to the conclusion that they’re wrong.