The only thing we have to fear is…. the Bush administration.

– Bumper sticker of the week: One Dick, One Bush...The way God intended it! Bush/Cheney ‘04.

– Quote of the week: "Ronald Reagan popularized the myth of the welfare queen...But absolutely nobody is getting rich off a system that pays a family $350 a month."

"Welfare reform is evidence of the triumph of market logic. We believe that the free market is the solution to all our problems, but the more it takes over, the more trouble we’re all in." Sharon Hays

– Ending violence against women and children:

• Examine the ways we legitimize male violence.

• Teach children how to settle conflicts peacefully.

• Understand that love does not involve control or ownership.

• Recognize that the availability of guns increases lethal violence.

• Recognize that alcohol and drugs feed violence.

• We are all role models. Be nurturing, loving, caring, nonviolent.

– Subtle ways to make a difference:

• Hold the door open for someone.

• Say "thank you."

• Mow the neighbor’s lawn.

• Visit a shut-in or someone alone in the hospital.

• Send a $20 bill to someone you know who could use it.

• Volunteer.

• Write a letter to the editor.

• Vote.

– Books just begging to be written:

• What to do with that booger on the end of your finger.

• 100 ways to make anything taste like chicken.

• The ‘60s: I think I was there.

• How to get a job: Writing a resume’ in Spanish or Chinese.

• The Bush League: How to avoid the draft and still become President.

• 50 different sexual positions: My life with an inflatable doll.

– You heard it here first: Bush will lose the election by over one million votes. Of course, that doesn’t mean that he’ll necessarily lose.

– The Protestant minority: Before the year is up, Protestants will become a minority in the U.S., although I’m not sure who this poll counts as Protestant. I love it. The Protestant "work ethic" is about to become a minority opinion.

– Homeland Security is a joke: Unfortunately, the joke’s on us. We get to pay for the whole mess. al Qaeda is going to bomb our financial institutions. But wait a minute, our information is 3 years old. Didn’t they already do that? Wasn’t that what the World Trade Center was? These self-serving bureaucracies are just a little behind. Ridge, Homeland Security Secretary, stated, "This is not about politics. It’s about confidence in government." I was hoping it was politics. My confidence in government is long gone.

– Orange Alert: DO NOT GO DOWNTOWN. Three years ago there was a suspicious looking character hanging around the corner of Seminary and Main. He appeared dangerous and potentially violent. WARNING: This is reliable information from 3 years ago. What makes you so sure he’s still not there? ORANGE ALERT!