Leave It To Peever

Never use a cuss word unless you mean it.

-- Bumper sticker of the week: Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life should be taken seriously.

-- Quote of the week: ''The fundamental principle upon which man assumes the right to punish his fellow man, is, that society as a whole may be protected. It is, therefore, clear that imposing any punishment that is not necessary for the protection of society is unwarranted and wrong; is absolutely indefensible upon any ground whatever; is nothing less than a deliberate injury, done by the strong to the weak, and is, therefore, in the highest degree, cowardly; and no man can participate in such an act without becoming morally accountable for the injury done to another.'' Live Questions, John Altgeld (1890). Quoted in Bush World Looks Backward, The Peever. Com.--

Elevating cussing to an art form:

­­ Never use a cuss word unless you mean it.

­­ Never cuss in front of older women. Drunken sailors have nothing on older women.

­­ Try to make up new cuss words. The old one's get overused.

­­ Time your cuss words in such a way that they keep the listener off guard.

­­ Never let a young kid out-cuss you.

­­ I've heard tell cussing is using the name of God in vain. I say it's nothing more than an impressive way of declaring your ignorance.--

Right-winged Christian Crusaders: Their faith is so shallow they need to fill it up with criticism of other religions and they cover up their desolation by proclaiming they, and they alone, know the true path to God's door. They so narrowly and literally define the Gospel and their faith that it takes away the mystery. They miss the whole point.--

Being poor isn't all that bad:

­­ You don't have to worry about paying taxes. In fact, paying taxes sometimes makes you poor.

­­ You don't have to hang around with rich people. Rich people are a pain in the ass.

­­ If the stock market falls, so what?

­­ Retirement is much easier to plan for.

­­ You don't have to worry about anyone stealing anything from you, other than your soul.

­­ Being poor has nothing to do with not having fun. It only makes those times that much better.

­­ Never hang your head in shame for being poor.

­­ They say the poor will be rewarded in heaven. I think they thought this up at the first Republican National Convention.--

Bush's answer to the forest fires out West: Let big corporations, who all just happen to be big campaign donors, log more. Oh brother!--

Here's a good one I heard recently: Someone told me a doctor at the new Cottage Clinic refused to take cash as payment. I assume this was some type of horrible misunderstanding. What I know not to be a misunderstanding is that many of the doctors refuse to take Medicaid patients. If this happens to you, let me know. I'll be glad to print the doctor's name and the lame reasons they give for not accepting state payment. In the long run, this violation of their own ethical code will help bring about universal health care. In the short run, it's a crime!--

Every politician in Springfield should be sent packing. This should be done through the election process, if possible. Otherwise, they should be sent to Texas. By bus.--

If it were up to me, I would give Washington, D.C. to Mexico, or Canada, or just about anyone stupid enough to take it.

Uploaded to The Zephyr website August 27, 2002

Back to The Zephyr home page at: www.thezephyr.com