One of life’s difficult lessons


— Bumper sticker of the week: Some days you’re the dog. Some days you’re the hydrant.

— Quote of the week: “Among politicians and businessmen, ‘pragmatism’ is the current term for “to hell with our children.”   Edward Abbey

— Darwin’s theory of evolution through natural selection is one of the great achievements, if not the single greatest, of humankind. Anyone who is unclear about the origin of life forms should look him up.

— Abortion is about pro-choice or anti-choice. Nothing more, nothing less.

— Golf is a weird game:

     • Where else would you hear guys yelling out, “Whore.” I think they are trying to chase all the women away.

• An eagle is a bird everywhere but in golf.

• The less the number, the more you win by. That doesn’t happen in any other sport.

• Where else would you hear words like shank, chili dip, and slice except in golf.  Maybe in a Jewish deli.

• In professional tournament play, you keep your opponents score. If you make a mistake, your opponent is disqualified. That ain’t right.

• What the hell is a “casual” bunker? Some moron builds a sand box right in front of the green and they call it casual.

• Where else would you call something made out of metal a wood?

• There is a lot of etiquette used in golf. Where else do a bunch of guys worry about etiquette. “I’m sorry I was talking while you were swinging.” Who the hell cares?

• A wrong swing can produce ground in flight that outdistances ball in play. The rule book calls this “demolition of course growth.” Punishable by a two stroke penalty.

• Golf is not ranked as a very tough sport. Boxing is number one, golf number 51. I bet whoever thought that up never got in front of John Daly on his way to the bar after a round?

• In professional golf, you are not allowed to ride in a cart, but you are allowed to hire some sucker to carry your bag. What’s with that?

• There are all types of devices that are suppose to help bad golfers become better golfers. Bad golfers spend a lot of money buying these devices. They end up being bad golfers with no money.

— An excerpt from my latest book, “The Path to Heaven is Paved With a Lot of Bull....”: I cried out to my fellow employees: Just how long are we going to take managements bull? The very next week I had to buy hip-boots.

— Mind games: It’s hard to get over thinking that my way, or in your case, your way, is the only way. Each of our brains harbor within it the belief that we know the right way of doing things. Anything. Everything. We tend to believe we know “the truth.” We fuss and fight and name-call in a vain attempt to see to it that our way becomes the way things are done. That our way becomes the conventional wisdom. When all else fails, we pout. Or start a war. Or call the other guy a lunatic.

Getting over this is no easy matter, and is one of life’s biggest challenges. As difficult as it is to believe, there are many roads leading to the same destination. Some of the roads are unpaved and have dangerous curves, and for that reason they are not as congested as the freeways.  Leaders, in particular, have a hard time with this notion. They think they know the way. Our political and religious leaders get mired in this muck. But sooner or later, the proclaimer of “the truth,” or  “the way,” will end up ridiculed and humiliated for not recognizing and attempting to understand other options. Surprisingly, they never learn one of life’s more difficult lessons: A straight line may be the shortest distance to a particular point, but not necessarily the best or the only.