Bumper sticker of the week: Vote Bush/Cheney ‘04 for a compassionate dictatorship. "We’re gooder."

– Quote of the week: "Finally, I am reminded that the first true democrat was none other than a man called Jesus. Jesus lived that faith and freedom. He upheld the equality of women, but also of the poor and the criminal in the sight of God. He taught not from the book, but from the universal wisdom of the broken heart, and his life and death were exemplars of the mystery of the spirit." Roger Housden, Sacred America

Debt trap: Don’t fall for the banking industry’s payment for life plan, commonly referred to as credit cards. Once they got you for around $5,000, all you’ll ever pay back is the interest. The balance will always be there, unless, of course, you die. Then they’ll mistakenly put it under someone else’s name.

– The Republican National Convention: What a bunch of crybaby nitwits. They don’t have a clue what’s going on in the world. They’re too busy counting their money. The whole thing demonstrates to me that my concept of "hell on Earth" is right-on. I never heard such horrible speakers. You could disrupt the whole convention by cutting the power. They couldn’t read the teleprompter. That would be the end of it. They can’t even dance to the music. As usual, the city of New York cleared out all the poor people living on the streets. They wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression to the viewing audience. And they tried to keep protestors plenty far away. In fact, the mayor wouldn’t allow protests in Central Park. They might ruin the grass. So much for free speech and the right to assemble. These people write the rules as they go, which seem to march steadily toward an autocracy. What a bunch of white, right-wing, Christian, corporate crybabies, carrying on like everything is normal, when in fact it’s all quite insane.

– Charity for Jesus: "Sure, we’ll help you with housing, food, and clothing. But first, you need to proclaim your faith in Jesus. Sign on the dotted line, and we’ll make sure you get reborn." Goes to show you, you don’t get something for nothing. This is evangelizing at its worst. This makes it tough on down-and-out Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, or for that matter, atheists, although I suppose if you were hungry enough you could fake it. Christian charities like to get something in return for their charity. I’ve heard the local Mission operates in this fashion. Could be a nasty rumor, although I’ve heard it repeatedly. Non-profit status should be taken away from any organization attempting to place conditions on their charity. They ain’t giving, they’re exchanging. That should be taxed.

– On July 9, George W. Bush told a group of Amish that God speaks thru him. If a poor person made such a claim, they’d be thrown in the nut house. But all his right-winged Christian buddies give legitimacy to such a claim. Frankly, I’d have him committed, cause I can’t possibly believe that Christ would have anything but pity for such a misguided soul.

– First Lady promoting her man as a warrior: Lady Bush says her husband is a "commanding warrior in the fight against terrorism." She is apparently beginning to mix up her words like her husband does. I could go with wimp, weeny, whiner, wuss, but not warrior, the noun referring to someone engaged in or experienced in warfare. As I recall, he dodged the draft in favor of protecting the Texas border from Louisiana.

– The new Bush terrorist alert system:

Green: It looks pretty good. Thank God Bush is in charge. I feel better already.

• Blue—Potential danger: Don’t trust anyone, especially foreigners and Democrats.

• Yellow—Warning, it looks real bad: You better be wearing clean underwear.

• Red—Severe danger: Don’t go outdoors, especially if you intend on voting Democrat.

• Black—Highest level of alert: I’m heading for the cave. You might as well bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.

Cheney badmouths Kerry: This guy’s a real charmer. He makes it embarrassing to be an American. Usually all he has to say is something demeaning and degrading about someone else. I’d like to see his face on a milk carton, although it would be tough on the dairy industry. Sales would plummet. This guy will talk about anything other than something meaningful, like lack of jobs, corporate greed, no health-care, the huge government debt, or help for the poor. His miserably rich existence doesn’t involve any of those things. Well, maybe corporate greed. Just a little.