LEAVE IT TO PEEVER
Conquest of the useless
-Bumper sticker of the week: Please don’t tell the government what comes after a trillion.
-Quote of the week: “A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.” Henrik Ibsen
“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer
-Conquest of the useless:
* Teaching leadership.
* Getting an A in sex education.
* Scoring a goal when you are behind by ten.
* Winning a Knox County Board election.
* Paying your home off only to be confronted with excessive utility bills and real estate taxes.
* Staying alive long enough to wish you weren’t.
* You run every day but need new knees.
* You go to all that trouble to look younger only to realize that you’re going to die just like the rest of us.
* Exercising while continuing to smoke.
* Being the worlds number one javelin thrower.
* Climbing Mt. Everest.
* Viagra and a four hour erection.
-Failure of imagination:
* Redoing the downtown.
* An industrial park.
* Throwing food away that could be used to feed people.
* Thirty miles per gallon.
* Sticking with AmerenIP.
* Taxing everything known to mankind.
* A Republican.
* The Chamber of Commerce.
-Would anyone giving money to the Orpheum consider buying it and running it as a business? I figured as much.
-How to spot a right-wing Protestant minister:
* Watch out for the polyester suit.
* With a tie that don’t match.
* They will always be carrying a King James version of the Bible.
* They always claim to have had a personal experience with God. So do most mental patients.
* Have you ever seen a left-handed right-wing minister?
* They will tell you they know”the way.” I would run at that point.
* They love money. Most of it goes in their pockets.
* They are not unlike a politician. They will give you salvation in exchange for your soul. Do not confuse this with charity. It is tomfoolery.