LEAVE IT TO PEEVER

Conquest of the useless

-Bumper sticker of the week: Please don’t tell the government what comes after a trillion.

-Quote of the week: “A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.” Henrik Ibsen

“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” Eric Hoffer

-Conquest of the useless:

* Teaching leadership.

* Getting an A in sex education.

* Scoring a goal when you are behind by ten.

* Winning a Knox County Board election.

* Paying your home off only to be confronted with excessive utility bills and real estate taxes.

* Staying alive long enough to wish you weren’t.

* You run every day but need new knees.

* You go to all that trouble to look younger only to realize that you’re going to die just like the rest of us.

* Exercising while continuing to smoke.

* Being the worlds number one javelin thrower.

* Climbing Mt. Everest.

* Viagra and a four hour erection.

-Failure of imagination:

* Redoing the downtown.

* An industrial park.

* Throwing food away that could be used to feed people.

* Thirty miles per gallon.

* Sticking with AmerenIP.

* Taxing everything known to mankind.

* A Republican.

* The Chamber of Commerce.

* GREDA.

-Would anyone giving money to the Orpheum consider buying it and running it as a business? I figured as much.

-How to spot a right-wing Protestant minister:

* Watch out for the polyester suit.

* With a tie that don’t match.

* They will always be carrying a King James version of the Bible.

* They always claim to have had a personal experience with God. So do most mental patients.

* Have you ever seen a left-handed right-wing minister?

* They will tell you they know”the way.” I would run at that point.

* They love money. Most of it goes in their pockets.

* They are not unlike a politician. They will give you salvation in exchange for your soul. Do not confuse this with charity. It is tomfoolery.