-—Bumper sticker of the week: You deserve what you accept.
—Quote of the week: ÒI am not a homosexual.Ó Sen. Larry Craig, after making a pass at an undercover cop in an airport restroom.
—The PeeverÕs Ten Commandments:
1. Never sunbath in the nude. You might forget to turn the other cheek.
2. Do not look at another mans ox, nor his ass, nor make a pass at him in the john.
3. Do not cheat your fellow man. There are no exceptions for lawyers, politicians, or CEOÕs.
4. Do not join a country club. ItÕs not nice trying to fool God into thinking there are only white people.
5. Do not think that you are better than the next person. This will help avoid number four, and might possibly keep you from spontaneously combusting.
6. Do not change your sex. God does not like this, nor will the guy making a pass at a girl who is really a guy. Or vice versa.
7. Do not idolize more than one God at a time. This is way to confusing for most people.
8. Go to church on Sunday. And do not work. Golf counts for church, and it is not considered work. But be sure to pray that putt goes in.
9. Do not believe anything Moses said. He was President of the NRA.
10. Finally, never, ever, doubt the word of The Peever. For He has been to the promised land. Well, maybe it was just Las Vegas, but still.......
¥ Do Happy Meals really make kids happy, or just fat?
¥ Does oil really seep out of Cheney and BushÕs ears?
¥ If it is illegal for a guy to make a pass at a guy in the guys room, is it equally as illegal for a guy to make a pass at a guy, who once was a gal, in the guys room? Or vice versa.
¥ Is war really the best way to achieve peace?
¥ Why would God only bless America?
¥ How many Republican votes does it take to win an election?
¥ How did nationalism ever get confused with patriotism?
¥ If capitalism is so great, how did Wal-Mart ever become the largest retailer of Chinese goods in the world?
¥ How come prisons are filled with poor people?
¥ Which came first: The egg McMuffin, or the chicken McNugget?
¥ Why do men worry about what a woman does with her pregnancy? They donÕt seem to worry about getting her pregnant to begin with.
¥ Why do we keep voting for the same fools?
¥ Why are we the only civilized country in the world without universal health-care?
¥ If a business needs tax breaks and all kinds of handouts from the host city, why are they starting the business in the first place? Do they not think they can make money?
¥ In a good economy, how come rich people keep getting richer, and poor people keep getting poorer?
¥ In a bad economy, how come rich people keep getting richer, and poor people keep getting poorer?
So many questions. If I had a dollar for every question I have, IÕd be rich. Then I wouldnÕt have to ask questions.