-- Bumper sticker of the week: Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.--

Quote of the week: Song of The Wind -- Listen closely as the gentle wind blows. It sings songs of joy for you, of sweet places where pure water flows. It sings of mountains, trees, and misty dew. It sings a lonely sacred song as it whistles through the pines. It sings to us and we must listen with our hearts, our souls, our minds. May the wind sing to you, and the sun rise in your heart. Native American

-- The Eagle is out: Our national symbol should be replaced by a condom to better reflect the current administration's political philosophy. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the future generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually getting screwed.--

Bush seeks to overturn Oregon's suicide law: In a classic case of ''We know what's best for everyone,'' right-winged ideologists W. George and John Ashcroft appeal to a U.S. appeals court to strike down a law passed by Oregon voters, not once, but twice, in 1994 and again in 1997. Ashcroft has already been told by a district federal judge to keep his nose out of a states' rights issue, but of course minor things like that don't deter this guy. Since 1997, only 91 people have used the law to end their lives, showing how sensible and moderate the law is. The real terrorist battle is not in Iraq or Afghanistan. The real battle is right here, right now.--

Remember National Clowning Day, November 4, 2002. Why let the politicians have all the fun on election day.--

The only worthwhile thing George Ryan has done in four years is put a moratorium on the death penalty in Illinois, which is the worst thing that Jim Ryan thinks he did. This gives you some idea of how Jim Ryan thinks, which is more towards the right than George Ryan. Jim Ryan has gone way out of his way to make sure people don't confuse him with George Ryan. After all, who would want to be confused with a Ryan who doesn't want to kill people to show people that killing people is wrong. He's trying to convince people that this Ryan is right, and the other Ryan is wrong. I don't think it's helping.--

The Peever is heading for Clinton, Arkansas next week. I'm taking orders for cigars. I hear they got some really big ones, and they're all hand rolled.--

How to avoid getting a speeding ticket: Someone said you are sure not to get a ticket if you wear a short skirt and spiked heels. I'm here to tell you, it don't work.--

A lot of right-winged Christians hate gays. They think it's anti-Christian and bad for your soul. I think they're basically full of crap and fundamentally wrong.--

I love to go to grocery stores:

­­No two grocery stores are alike. They all have their own devious plans to confuse us.

­­I like grocery stores where you can eat. Then you don't have to buy anything.

­­Most grocery stores have huge liquor departments. I guess liquor salesmen are better than bread salesmen. No one is ever old enough to check you out. The only one old enough to check you out is always in the back sleeping.

­­A good deli is hard to find. A good deli should have a minimum of 150 meats, at least 50 different cheeses, and a Jewish mother to tell you what you're doing wrong with your life.

­­Bakeries are not what they used to be. Most stuff is pre-made in some foreign country and shipped in. Stick it in the oven, and pronto, I'm a baker. A baker should have years of training and a stomach as big as Alaska.--

Not only is there a town named Peever in South Dakota, there's also one named Bruce. Those South Dakotans sure have good taste.

Uploaded to The Zephyr website October 1, 2002

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